‘We are hardly married’: Javed Akhtar’s take on relationships highlights how bonds can thrive outside conventional frameworks

Akhtar stated that bonds can thrive outside conventional frameworks, and for those who feel marriage isn’t for them, cohabitation, companionship, and civil unions are increasingly being explored as viable alternatives.

These structures challenge traditional notions of relationships and open up possibilities for building connections on mutual respect and shared values without legal or societal bindings. But how do such arrangements affect emotional and psychological well-being? We turned to a psychologist to shed light on this evolving dynamic.

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “The impact of non-traditional relationship structures like cohabitation, companionship, or civil unions on emotional security and long-term relationship satisfaction truly depends on the individuals involved. For some, marriage — with its traditions, societal recognition, and legal framework — provides a sense of security and stability. These individuals may feel anchored by the structure and commitment marriage represents.”

However, she adds that it’s important to recognise that marriage is a societal construct, and not everyone aligns with its conventional framework. “Adults who consciously decide not to marry or to form relationships outside traditional norms—such as cohabitation or companionship — are making choices based on what resonates with their values and priorities.” 

Ultimately, what matters is the mutual agreement and understanding between the people in the relationship.

For couples, the first step is to have an honest conversation about what they truly want from their relationship (Source: Freepik)

Psychological factors couples should consider before deciding to opt out of marriage in favour of such alternatives

Baruah suggests that when couples consider opting out of marriage and choosing alternatives like cohabitation, companionship, or civil unions, “the first step is to have an honest conversation about what they truly want from their relationship.” It’s important to explore how they both view the idea of partnership and why the conventional framework of marriage might not feel like the right fit. 

Discussing what they value most in their relationship is equally important. Do they prioritise autonomy, equality, or flexibility over the societal recognition marriage provides? Are they comfortable navigating a relationship without the formal “security” that marriage often symbolises? While some thrive in the freedom of non-traditional arrangements, others may realise that the lack of structure makes them feel uneasy or insecure.

Baruah states, “From an anthropological perspective, marriage has always been a reflection of cultural, economic, and social needs. Historically, it wasn’t about love but about alliances and stability. In today’s world, where individualism and personal fulfillment have become central, it’s natural for some to rethink these traditional structures. But even in redefining partnerships, couples still interact with societal norms, whether they choose to embrace or resist them.”

Ultimately, she mentions, the decision to step away from marriage is deeply personal. It’s not about rejecting marriage for the sake of it but crafting a relationship that feels authentic and meaningful for the people involved. “At the heart of it all is connection, and whether that comes with a marriage license or not depends entirely on the individuals in the relationship.”

From the homepage

‘There is confusion’: SC directs EC to give details of 3.66 lakh voters deleted from final Bihar electoral roll

Found dead with gunshot wound, IPS officer Puran Kumar was known for speaking up against caste bias, administrative issues

Removed after Rajasthan hospital blaze, doctor claims warnings about ‘current leakage’ were ignored