Lessons on love: Gen-Z narrates their heartbreak experiences and how to cope

“Tears would roll down wherever I went. It was uncontrollable. I was in a dark phase where I couldn’t eat, drink, sleep, work or function like a normal human being,” Myron described.

Shruti Gautam shared similar sentiments about her first heartbreak, which happened at the age of 17. What started as something right out of a Taylor Swift love song, ended up being “the ugliest relationship ever”. “I think I never loved him, and only loved the idea of him,” she confessed.

That breakup completely changed how Gautam perceived relationships. “I struggled with building new relationships because I felt unloveable and I didn’t want to be abandoned like that ever again,” she said.

Sanghamitra Chandra, PR Professional, too, felt her life was ‘meaningless’ after the breakup with her now-ex boyfriend. What was worse was that this pushed her into depression where she lost interest in her day-to-day life. To cope, she “worked like a machine”, but that just delayed the inevitable agony, she says, as Sanghamitra tried to repress all the pain.

Anjana PV, 25, also resonates with this, as after a seemingly toxic relationship where her ex cheated on her, she faced “panic attacks, lack of sleep, inconsistent eating patterns and complete emotional breakdown”. “I also started avoiding people of the opposite gender as I was fearful of history repeating itself.”

However, what helped Anjana was involving herself in other extracurricular activities and hobbies which she believes helped channelise the pain she was going through. “My goal was to be more focused on myself more than anything else.”

On the other hand, Reeya Agarwal, a psychologist, turned to therapy after her breakup nine months ago. “During these sessions, I came to the realisation that my post-breakup feelings were not just about missing the other person — they were also deeply connected to my own sense of self. I learned to validate my emotions and address any unhealthy behaviours I may have exhibited, with a focus on self-improvement,” she shared.

So, how do heartbreaks impact us?

Heartbreak seems to involve some of the same neural mechanisms as that of physical pain. (Source: Freepik)

A heartbreak can be such an intense experience that some researchers propose it’s akin to physical pain. A study from 2011 discovered that the brain activity of individuals looking at a picture of an ex-lover closely resembled the activity when they experienced a burn on their arm.

“A heartbreak often leads to physical pain in the chest,” explained Dr Pankaj B Borade, consultant psychiatrist, Ruby Hall Clinic. “This is where it gets its name from. Heartbreak seems to involve some of the same neural mechanisms as that of physical pain.”

Dr Shailesh Jha, consultant psychiatrist, Indraprastha Apollo Saarthak Mental Health Services, Sarita Vihar, added that while the normal emotional reaction to a heartbreak can be grief and despair, sometimes it can be severe enough to impact a person’s day-to-day life.

Adding, Agarwal said that it can cause hopelessness and raise questions like: “Will I ever find someone again?” “Can I love with the same intensity?” “Am I destined to be alone?” “I can’t believe I was treated this poorly”, “I’m running out of time but still can’t find the right person.”

This can have a negative impact on an individual’s self-esteem — leading to self-doubt, insecurities, and a lack of confidence. Trust concerns may arise, making it difficult to form new relationships or foster intimacy in future partnerships. Apart from this, Dr Jha noted that it can also present physically as changes in appetite, sleep difficulties, and persistent weariness.

How can you cope with a broken heart?

Dealing with a heartbreak can be challenging, but these tips by Dr Jyoti Kapoor, founder-director and senior psychiatrist, Manasthali can help you:

*Allow yourself to grieve: It’s important to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Grieving is a natural part of the healing process, and it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or any other emotions that come up.

*Lean on support systems: Reach out to friends and family who can provide emotional support and a listening ear. Don’t hesitate to share your feelings with those you trust.

*Seek professional help: If your heartbreak is particularly distressing or if you find it difficult to cope on your own, consider seeking therapy or counseling. A therapist can provide guidance and strategies for dealing with your emotions.

*Self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being. This includes getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in regular exercise. Self-care can help boost your mood and energy levels.

*Limit contact: It can be helpful to limit or cut off contact with your ex-partner, at least for a period of time. This will give you space to heal and gain perspective.

*Focus on your interests: Reconnect with hobbies and activities you enjoy or explore new ones. Engaging in personal interests can help take your mind off the heartbreak and boost your self-esteem.

*Forgiveness: Try to work towards forgiving your ex-partner and, most importantly, yourself. Forgiveness can be a powerful step in the healing process.

*Stay patient: Healing from heartbreak is a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and understand that it’s normal to have setbacks along the way.

*Identify triggers: Look for any lessons you’ve learned from your past relationships. If you find that you are consistently attracted to unhealthy partners or engage in repetitive behaviours that are causing harm, try to identify the root causes and consciously make healthier choices in partners and behaviours.

*Avoid rebound relationships: Rebound relationships may be tempting during heartbreaks. However, remember that your next relationship will benefit from healing. You need to process your own emotions before entering into another relationship.

📣 For more lifestyle news, follow us on Instagram | Twitter | Facebook and don’t miss out on the latest updates!