Amit Tandon admits to cheating on his wife; psychologist uncovers the complexities of giving love a second chance

“It creates a crack in your relationship, and sometimes it can’t be repaired. It just keeps on growing. Fast forwarding, we had a child thinking that bacha hone se sab theek ho jayega (a kid can fix everything). It doesn’t,” he added.

Talking about how they reconciled, he mentioned, “But, like I said, there is a higher power up there. We both moved on. I had gotten into another relationship as well. But I feel like, god had some plans that things had to come back and by god’s grace, this time, when we got back together, it was completely different. Last year, we renewed our vows as well.” 

Tandon’s story reflects the emotional complexities involved when couples decide to rebuild trust and move forward. Deciding to give a relationship a second chance is never easy.

So, how can couples determine if a second chance is the right choice?

Swathi J Bhat, consultant clinical psychologist and relationship counsellor at Cadabams Mindtalk, says, “In relationship psychology, there are several indicators that a relationship may be worth a second chance. First and foremost, there must be mutual respect and a shared commitment to making the relationship work.”

A willingness to communicate openly and honestly is another vital sign. When both partners can openly acknowledge past issues, it signals maturity and readiness to rebuild, says Bhat. “Forgiveness is also essential; if both partners are genuinely willing to forgive each other and move past previous hurts, it lays the groundwork for healing. A final indicator is shared values and goals. When couples have aligned visions for their future, the effort to repair and nurture the relationship becomes purposeful and grounded.”

Persistent resentment, lack of mutual effort, or repeated harmful behaviours — like manipulation or abuse — can indicate that emotional healing may require separation. (Source: Freepik)

Common challenges couples face when attempting to rebuild a relationship

According to Bhat, rebuilding a relationship after a significant breach of trust, like infidelity, brings complex challenges. Trust issues are significant, as both partners may struggle with doubts or insecurities despite efforts to forgive. Open communication and consistent honesty are essential. Couples may benefit from regular check-ins to address concerns before they escalate.

Another challenge, she says, is the ‘ghosts of the past’ — memories of past conflicts or unresolved grievances that can resurface. The American Psychological Association suggests managing these by identifying triggers and building new positive experiences to replace negative memories.

Emotional resilience is also critical, adds Bhat, as reconciliation often involves moments of doubt or frustration. “Practicing empathy and remembering the shared goal can help couples avoid blame. Couples therapy provides a structured environment to address issues and learn constructive conflict resolution.”

Recognising reconciliation may not be the healthiest option

Bhat highlights that while commitment to reconciliation is admirable, sometimes ending the relationship better serves both partners’ well-being. Persistent resentment, lack of mutual effort, or repeated harmful behaviours — like manipulation or abuse — can indicate that emotional healing may require separation. Relationships lacking reciprocity are often emotionally draining and can erode self-worth. Recognising the need to move on can be difficult, but support from friends, family, or a therapist can help individuals prioritise their mental health and future happiness.

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