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Journalism of Courage
In the perennial tension between communitarian privilege and individual rights, Ambedkar stood squarely on the side of the individual,” writes Shashi Tharoor in Ambedkar: A Life (Aleph, 2022), which has recently made it into bookstores, “In the battle between timeless traditions and modern conceptions of social justice, Ambedkar tilted the scales decisively toward the latter. In the contestation between the wielders of power and the drafters of law, Ambedkar carved a triumphant place for enabling change through democracy and legislation. In a fractured and divided Hindu society he gave the Dalits a sense of collective pride and individual self-respect. In so doing, he transformed the lives of millions yet unborn, heaving an ancient civilization into the modern era through the force of his intellect and the power of his pen.” Winner of the Sahitya Akademi Award, as well as numerous other accolades for his writings, Shashi could easily be the man for whom another in history would write these words.
Shashi has been my friend for over a quarter century and my man-crush for as long as he has been involved in global diplomacy. In this time, I have seen in him a man who doesn’t allow popularity or the poll booth to change the direction of his moral compass or his lifelong commitment to serve those who make our planet rich with the nuance of discovery and aspirations. He has a very old school way of living and loving, thinking and politicking, making peace and changing lives.
I remember vividly the meal I cooked for Shashi’s twins Ishaan and Kanishk at our Manhattan apartment for their 21st birthday, almost two decades ago. It isn’t the food I remember as richly as the man who was all eyes over his sons — their coming of age, their beginning the journeys of their own lives, and how they were navigating those journeys as individuals. They were challenging their father and he was allowing them their right. They were respectfully teasing and in doing so complaining, he was smiling and standing corrected. It was this man — this smart dad giving his sons space to breathe and express their own thoughts, even those at his expense — who stole my heart that night.
At Kanishk’s wedding, I was enthralled by the erudition, articulation and witty expression with which Tilottama Tharoor, the mother of the twins and Shashi’s first and now ex-wife, entertained all gathered with a toast that was also a roast and a triumphant verbal journey into the family’s past. Watching Shashi hang on to each word spoken by his ex-wife was a testament to his deep well of confident self-respect. That he smiled heartily and readily with careless abandon showed his comfort with the past and himself. After the toast, Shashi furthered the compliments being given Tilottama, a sign of the large heart and the magnanimity that defines him. Again and again, as people drifted towards Tilottama to congratulate her, I observed Shashi’s pride in her, despite a divorce that could have gone to wrong and dark places.
The days after the passing of my father are a blur and darkly so. For two years, l couldn’t shake the depression his passing threw me into. Life seemed without life, words like utterances without meaning, friendships gave company but no healing, and time was passing too slowly to take me to that place where Papa had slipped away to. I remember very clearly a couple of nights after Papa’s passing, Shashi calling to enquire after us and also asking if he could come to the airport, as he landed in Delhi, to be with the family. He wanted to be at my mother’s side at the earliest and knew his next days in Delhi would be lost with Parliament in session. Arriving at our home in the wee hours of the morning, Shashi sat with Mom without any attention given to the clock. He was tender, he was attentively engaged and listening, he was there mourning and being a friend and and a source of comfort to my siblings and me. Many a politician would perform richly as cameras recorded their moment paying respects to a deceased and comforting a family, but only Shashi Tharoor would be friend and family when night turns to dawn and do so with the gentleness of his soul-stirring oratory, heartwarmingly earnest authenticity, and generational decency. His late-night visit, a couple of days after Papa’s passing, is a light in a very dark cloud that I remember in trying moments when I crave a palpable connection to goodness and hopeful possibilities.
Years after Papa’s passing, as I found myself fighting my own battle with life and death, I was again shown the depths of empathy and succour that Shashi brings to the table of friendship and life. In my dark hours of dealing with failing health and a deeply fractured sense of self, I was sent a messiah in the form of Shashi Tharoor. Visiting my mom, brother and me at a very private simple home meal, his concern and questioning, reactions and utterances gave me strength to think beyond the here and now and realise that my struggles could well become my lessons to share with the world and my new métier, that profession and occupation that I might have been ordained to arrive in India for. It is to Shashi that I owe my having written Instamatic, my fourth book, and my Slice of Life columns. He made me see hope when I felt doom in my heart; he gave me the ability to appreciate the gravitas behind my emotions and use words to express them for the advantage of my own healing and for others to read and, perhaps, connect with.
The Congress party is lost today in ways it has never been before. For the nation and for the sake of the Opposition, I hope the party elders can accept the popularity and respect that Shashi Tharoor wields across India and the political lines. He is rightly viewed by the populace at large as a peerless statesman in a sea of vote-bank politicians. Even though the results of the Congress Party presidency are out, Shashi Tharoor will continue to win hearts and minds through his unique brand of autochthonous living and working. Indians in the motherland, diasporic Indians, and people who follow diplomacy, will continue celebrating the man and his words. Like Ambedkar, Shashi stands on the side of the individual, of justice for all, of legislating with heart and vision to bring self-respect for all citizens, no matter their caste, gender or sexuality. He has championed the glory of democracy through the wizardry of his pen and the might of his sagacious, and often provocative, intellect. This columnist, a proud Indian citizen and global traveller, hopes Shashi continues to show us the light of decent governance and the importance of words spoken, written and committed to legislation.
