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‘A universal guide for young professionals on balancing ambition with affection’: Kiran Bedi on memoir of first couple with 3-star rank in armed forces

Lt General Rajeev Kanitkar and Lt General Dr Madhuri Kanitkar launched their memoir, 'Growing Together without Growing Apart', in Pune.

The Kanitkar family along with Dr. Kiran Bedi, Lt Gen Dhiraj Seth and Lt Gen Pankaj Rao at the book launchThe Kanitkar family along with Dr. Kiran Bedi, Lt Gen Dhiraj Seth and Lt Gen Pankaj Rao at the book launch

Written by Ruta Patil

India’s first husband-wife duo to achieve the three-star rank, Lt General Rajeev Kanitkar and Lt General Dr Madhuri Kanitkar, launched their memoir ‘Growing Together without Growing Apart’ at the Bharadwaj Auditorium, Armed Forces Medical College (AFMC), Pune, Saturday.

The event was presided over by D. Kiran Bedi, India’s first woman IPS officer, with Lt Gen Dhiraj Seth, PVSM, AVSM, GOC-in-C, Southern Command, as chief guest; and Lt Gen Pankaj Rao, Director and Commandant, AFMC, as guest of honour.

Published by Hay House, the memoir chronicles the journey of Lt Gen Dr Madhuri Kanitkar, PVSM, AVSM, VSM and Vice Chancellor of the Maharashtra University of Health Sciences, from childhood aspirations to becoming one of the highest-ranking officers in the armed forces. It also celebrates the couple’s extraordinary four-decade partnership, offering insight into how two strong individuals balanced ambition, duty, and togetherness.

Dr Bedi described the book as a mirror for couples navigating demanding careers. “This is not just a memoir; it’s a blueprint for balance and shared purpose. The journey of a couple who refused to let distance, duty, or ambition weaken their bond. It is a universal guide for young professionals on balancing ambition with affection,” she said.

Written from Lt Gen Rajeev Kanitkar’s perspective, the memoir provides an intimate portrait of a relationship built on mutual respect and shared dreams. “I wrote the book, but Madhuri got the last word. Each chapter ends with her postscript,” he said, calling the process a joyful rollercoaster ride.

On the title, Lt Gen Dr Madhuri Kanitkar recalled, “I was a Major, struggling, and had told Rajeev I wanted to quit. He wrote back, saying there is no question of quitting, we have to grow together, without growing apart.”

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Lt Gen Dhiraj Seth called it “a story told in two voices merging into one,” while Lt Gen Pankaj Rao said, “Beyond the ranks, this is a journey of two individuals building life side by side, sharing responsibilities, and ensuring neither home nor profession was neglected.”

The memoir recounts a four-decade journey marked by growth, embracing differences, selfless sacrifice, shared humour, mutual respect for successes, and a family approach that treats them as a team. It emphasises the idea that true success is not just about the destination, but about the people who walk alongside you.

Ruta Patil is an intern with The Indian Express

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