Solitude of a very,very Special Batsman

What is India’s best batsman doing at home when the team is in the West Indies?

For the last one year, since the Bangladesh tour in 2004, when they said that they were looking for the World Cup team, the team management and selectors decided that I’m not in the scheme of things (ODIs). They started working a lot on various combinations and also giving opportunities to many youngsters.

But yes, you feel really disappointed, because I still feel that I have a lot to contribute in both versions of the game. In 2003 and 2004, I had a very good run in ODIs and even after that, it was not bad, but yes, not as consistent as I would have liked. But suddenly, you find yourself out of the one-day scheme of things. I was looking forward to doing well in the 2007 World Cup, especially because I missed the 2003 World Cup (in South Africa). Since then, if you see my record, it has generally been very good. I had even improved on my strike rate, which was always a problem. Probably, I don’t fit in the scheme of things. It’s disappointing.

There is a feeling that your fitness is a problem, that you can’t dive, that the team needs younger people who can save 20 runs and then go out and hit 50?

I always maintain that I’m not a bad fielder. I’m definitely not the quickest, but I’m a safe fielder, especially catching and even out-fielding. Earlier, John Wright used to keep a chart of negatives and positives, and I was in the negative too many times. But having said that, I think the trend has also changed, in the sense that they are looking for people who can dive and all that. Even so, I’m not such a bad fielder where I cost a lot of runs to the team. But that’s in the past. I’m looking to the future, I’m trying to improve my fitness levels. I’m working a lot on my fielding and running between the wickets. If the people, the team management and the selectors feel that that I’m lacking in that, I’m trying my best to improve.

About the World Cup, deep inside your heart, do you really think there is hope? Does your mind say that there is a place for you in this team?

Absolutely. Why I say that is because I feel that I can win matches for the country in ODIs. Secondly, the team requires some experience. It’s good that youngsters have been given an opportunity and they have done well. That’s the way it should be. If the bench strength is strong, then automatically the team’s success will be higher, which is showing.

The only concern here is that they’re talking about my fielding and my running between the wickets. They’re not talking about my batting because they know my batting is up to the mark even in ODIs. If they see a change in my fielding or my running between the wickets, I’m sure that they’ll give me a chance to play. Having said that, it’s very important how I do in the Test matches, too. Because if I perform consistently in Tests and get big scores, I’m sure that they will give me a chance in ODIs.

But where do you see yourself in the one-day team? Every position has been filled.

Cricket is a game of uncertainties. There will be times, I’m not hoping for this, but there will be times when someone is not going through a good phase. I’m just preparing myself to be geared up when I get an opportunity.

I’m not sure when it’s going to come. I’m just being very optimistic, hoping that I’ll get a chance. For example, in 1999-2001 in Australia, I was not a part of the ODI team and suddenly I got 167 and they asked me to stay back for the ODIs. No one expected it. So you never know when it’s going to happen. Suddenly, someone might get injured, I’m not hoping for it, but what I’m trying to say is that I have to be optimistic, because the moment I feel that I don’t stand a chance in the ODIs then I’ll slack off in my training.

If you are not selected for the World Cup, don’t you think it would be dignified to say that you are not going to play any more one-day cricket?

You never know, someone like Robin Singh made his debut at the age of 30. I always believe that till I decide to retire from both forms of the game, I will not announce retirement from any one format. It’s up to the selectors to decide whether I’m useful to them in contributing to the team or not. Till the day I’m playing cricket, I want to improve as a cricketer and give my best.

Do you feel that you have been badly treated by the team management on the one-day front?

Sometimes, you get a feeling, when they talk about the fielding… when I was injured in the Asia Cup (Sri Lanka, July-Aug 2004) they asked me to stay back and play, even though I was not even 50 per cent fit. And in six months’ time, they talk about my fielding and my running between wickets. So such things really confuse you. But I’ve always maintained that whenever given an opportunity I’ll always try and do my best.

Right from the start of my career, there have been ups and downs. There have been different people treating me different ways. But I’ve always thought that as long as I keep on playing, I’ll get an opportunity.

In this case, have you ever talked to anyone in the team, have you walked up to the coach and said ‘Look, what is the problem, can we sort this out?’

Actually, I spoke to Greg (Chappell), when he took over… he clearly told me that they’re trying various combinations and I still fit into the one-day scheme of things, which he maintains. He doesn’t say that I’m out of the team. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have picked me for the Challenger Trophy, and I got a hundred there in the second match. Greg is an honest man, he would have said, ‘Laxman, you don’t fit into the scheme of things.’ But he keeps saying that I’m still in contention for one-day matches.

The facts show otherwise. Greg Chappell took over in May and you played your last ODI in August.

I’m not sure what he’s looking at as far as I’m concerned, but probably he’s giving opportunities to a lot of players who have to show their class, and they are delivering. If they were not delivering, he would have probably recalled me. He’s looking for match-winners. He’s not discarding anyone. The people who perform consistently, he’s persisting with them.

Moving on to Tests, from that 281 against Australia to batting at No 8 this year against England in Nagpur, how has the last five years been?

The last five years have actually been pretty good. I’m quite happy because prior to 281 there was a phase when I was not sure whether I’d get a place in the Test team also. I was a regular opener at that time and I said that I’m not going to open any more. I was not sure whether I’d get picked in the middle-order. But everything fell into place. I scored a lot of runs in Ranji Trophy, I got a chance in the middle-order and since that time I think I’ve been performing consistently.

You’ve not got any fixed batting slot, has that affected your batting?

Yes, but I have always been like that. Sometimes opening, sometimes batting at No 3, sometimes at No 4, 5, 6. I’ve always felt that as long as it is in the middle-order, I just need to perform to my potential, and do what the situation demands. Rahul has done really well at No 3, but Rahul himself, when he was captain in Mumbai, pushed me to No 3 because the situation demanded that (vs Australia, Nov 2004).

If you are part of the team, you have to accept that you have to be flexible with your position, as long as the team benefits. I was never rigid, saying I don’t want to bat at No 6. If the team management says that I can contribute better at No 6, so be it. As long as I am in the middle-order, it is a challenge and I’m quite pleased with the way I have performed there.

But you wrote a letter to the BCCI once, asking them not to pick you as an opener.

Opening never came naturally to me, and I was trying my best to do well for the team. The moment I used to fail in two innings, they used to say that I’m a non-regular opener. That really hurt me, because I was trying to change my batting style, which probably hampered my progress in my first four years of Test cricket, and I was not enjoying my cricket. Then I looked at the best position, where I’ve done well for Hyderabad and South Zone and India, (it was) in the middle-order. And luckily batting back in the middle-order, I was able to get a lot of runs for my state, and they gave me a chance.

Yes, I was very firm saying that I don’t want to be an opener. But as long as I was in the middle-order, I had to just accept the facts. No one could remove Sachin (Tendulkar) from No 4 because he’s been the best batsman in the world. And Rahul has done so well for the country at No 3. When Sourav (Ganguly) was the captain he was batting at No 5. The only slot available was No 6.

And No 3, whenever the team thought it was necessary. No one expected that at Kolkata, I would bat at No 3. In Mumbai as well, Rahul thought I would do well if I went up the order. So as a player, you can’t be demanding. It’s a team game not an individual game.

Being marked at No 8 this year would have hurt.

Yes. It’s disappointing, because that’s the last Test I played after being dropped for the next two games. Such things disappoint, because you know that you have done well and after that you get this treatment. But you have to accept it and move on, because there is no point arguing and brooding over it. Then you’re not in the present, you’re thinking about the past. As a cricketer, you have to have a very balanced mind. If you are holding a lot of hurt inside, then you will not be able to play well.

Has there been any kind of communication between you and the team management. What are they saying? Is it about consistency, injury?

In one-dayers, they were talking about fitness, fielding.

So they had a chat with you.

Yes, when Greg Chappell took over, he said, ‘We’d like you to improve on your fielding.’

Do you get a feeling that you don’t fit into the current team management’s plans?

It’s a mixed reaction from me. Sometimes, I get a feeling that I don’t fit. In the one-dayers, I may not be fitting into their scheme of things and that’s why probably, even when Sachin was injured they didn’t call me. They called for Robin Uthappa. I was expecting at that time that I would be called, and I was preparing myself for being there. But then they called Robin, and he’s done well. So you get a message saying that at the moment I’m not in the scheme of things.

Many agree that Chappell has come with a vision. He has helped youngsters a lot. But don’t you think he should have been a bit more sensitive to experienced players?

He has shown sensitivity. He’s got that, and he discusses that with us. So I don’t agree when people say that he’s insensitive.

You’ve played under Ganguly-Wright and Dravid-Chappell, how do you compare the two combinations?

There’s not much of a difference, to be very honest. If you see Sourav and John when they began, it was the same as Rahul and Greg initially. They had brought in a lot of changes into Indian cricket in 2000-2001. They changed the approach, they made it more professional. They brought in fitness trainers and physios. It’s the same with Rahul and Greg. They’ve taken what Sourav and John started a step higher, which is normal and good for any organisation. The new set-up, which has come in, has to take the organisation to the next level. John and Sourav brought in a degree of flexibility, Greg and Rahul are only improving on that.

How about aggression?

It’s the same, actually. I always feel that aggression doesn’t mean that you show your emotions on the field. I think that the present combination is even more aggressive. It’s just a matter of different personalities. Sourav was probably more open about his emotions. His body language used to show what he was thinking. Rahul has a cool mind. His body language doesn’t betray his emotions. But he’s equally aggressive. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have got so many runs for the country.

Similarly, John was aggressive from inside, but he used to give the impression that he was very subdued. But Greg, he’s very aggressive and his body language shows it. I think the present combination is aggressive, otherwise they wouldn’t send Irfan Pathan to open or bat at No 3. Aggression should be shown in actions.

What about man-management?

Lot of similarities. The kind of confidence Sourav and John gave to players, who were just coming in, was fantastic. That’s why you got people like Virender Sehwag, Yuvraj Singh and Mohammad Kaif. Similarly now, the Irfan Pathans, the Dhonis… they’re getting full support from Rahul and Greg.

Do you think the coach has more of a say now than when Wright was in charge?

It appeared that John was subdued, but actually he was very aggressive. It may look now like Greg is calling the shots, but actually it’s Rahul, Greg and the selectors who are making most of the decisions. Similarly at that time, (it was) Sourav, John. Sachin was a senior player. They used to take a call on most of the important decisions. The captain takes the call. Usually the decisions are collective, but the captain is the leader, so he takes the final call.

When did you last talk with Chappell on your career?

In Mumbai (after the 3rd Test vs England, March 2006).

What did he tell you?

Greg agreed with me that it must be disappointing to be left out. But then he explained that Yuvraj (Singh) had a very good one-day series in Pakistan. It was not a detailed chat or anything.

How do you rate and compare Ganguly and Dravid as captains?

Both of them are excellent. Different styles. Sourav was more expressive on the field. Rahul is more expressive in the dressing room, in a closed circuit, he leads by example. They’re two different personalities. There’s uniqueness in both of them. They are both hard-working, always encouraging youngsters on the field.

Tactically, who do you think is better?

Both of them are successful captains, they just had different styles. If they were not tactically brilliant, they wouldn’t have been successful, there wouldn’t have been good at man-management. The thing is when a captain takes a decision, there’s a core group involved. So in Sourav’s decisions, Rahul as vice-captain had a major hand. Similarly, Rahul is currently being advised by his own core group of senior players.

There have been a lot of comments on your technique, about your playing away from the body, your vulnerability to the incoming ball.

Actually, I’ve improved and matured as a player. Everyone has got their own style of playing. Sachin is different, Sourav is different, Yuvraj is different. But as long as you are able to adapt to the situation, take the pressure… these two are the most important things that are needed in cricket. I think I have adapted my game to suit the situation in recent times. The number of times I get out now chasing the ball outside the off stump is less.

I’ve worked on my game. It’s an on-going process. There will be some deficiencies, some wear and tear. The in-coming ball is difficult at the moment. We just have to keep on repairing our games and make the best use of the opportunities that come our way.

Who is the real Laxman? You have this soft image, but you have also taken on bowlers like Glenn McGrath eye-to-eye.

I feel that I’m quite aggressive. The guys who know me really well, they know that. But it’s internal. Externally, I don’t show my emotions. That’s the way I’ve been brought up. On the cricket field, I’m quite aggressive. But off it, I’m a normal guy.

According to me, cricket and your normal life are two separate things. You’ve got to act like a normal citizen off the field. Unfortunately, some cricketers don’t feel that way. But I know what reality is because I’ve been dropped so many times. What we do is very temporary. And so many people are eyeing the slot that we occupy in the team.

How do you confront your insecurities?

I pray, I have a lot of well-wishers. But I feel that as an individual unless you have a burning desire to fight back, no one can help you. Like when I was dropped from the 2003 World Cup, I told myself that this wasn’t the end of the road, that I have to fight back. Until I retire, I will keep trying to improve, keep playing for the country. That’s the reason why I’ve come back in the domestic season.

I have faced a lot of insecurities from my first Test in 1996 to 2000. But the 1999-2000 tour to Australia changed my mindset totally. That’s when I decided to stop brooding over what you are not getting. That just affects your personal life which you don’t want. Even post-281, I have faced a lot of insecurities. No one can expect to be dropped, or to struggle to find a place in a side six months after scoring 281. But I came back well in the West Indies. So you have to fight back. Eventually, it all balances out.

How about your family? Does it affect them that you’re in the team one day and out the next?

They’ve seen the best of me. They know that I can contribute more. Sometimes, it disappoints them, it surprises them. They wonder why this should happen to Laxman all the time. But they give me a lot of support. Because if they feel disappointed, they won’t be able to give me the kind of positive boost I need. And I can sense that. So they try to be as positive as possible.

(For full interview, go to expressindia.com)