Understanding Omoiyari, the Japanese concept of empathy

Understanding Omoiyari in Japanese society

In Japan, omoiyari is more than a social nicety; it is an expected behaviour that fosters mutual respect and smooth relationships. It is reflected in small, everyday gestures, such as:

• Public Consideration: People avoid talking loudly on trains, maintain orderly queues, and keep their phones silent to avoid disturbing others.
• Workplace Etiquette: Employees often anticipate their coworkers’ needs, assist with tasks without being asked, and express gratitude in a subtle manner rather than overtly.
• Gift-Giving Culture: The Japanese custom of omiyage (souvenirs) and seasonal gifts embodies the concept of omoiyari, which demonstrates appreciation and fosters social bonds.

A key element of omoiyari is the concept of kūki o yomu (空気を読む), or “reading the air.” This means being attuned to unspoken cues and adjusting one’s behaviour accordingly. In Japan, direct confrontation is often avoided in favour of harmony, and people practice subtle communication to ensure others feel comfortable.

Even if you don’t live in Japan, you can incorporate the principles of omoiyari into your daily interactions to build stronger relationships and foster a more considerate environment (Source: Freepik)

How to apply Omoiyari in your everyday life

Even if you don’t live in Japan, you can incorporate the principles of omoiyari into your daily interactions to build stronger relationships and foster a more considerate environment. Here’s how:

1. Be Present and Observe

Take time to notice how people around you are feeling. Someone might be struggling but not openly expressing it. A simple act of checking in, offering assistance, or just listening can make a big difference.

2. Anticipate Needs Without Being Asked

If a colleague is overwhelmed, offer to take on a small task to lighten their load in the workplace. At home, if a family member looks tired, make them a cup of tea or help with a chore without being asked.

3. Practice Thoughtful Communication

Words have power, and phrasing things in a considerate way can improve relationships. Instead of saying, “You should have done this differently,” try, “Maybe next time, we could try a different approach.” Small shifts in language can make interactions smoother.

4. Respect Shared Spaces

Simple acts, such as keeping noise levels down in public, returning shopping carts, or cleaning up after yourself in a shared office space, demonstrate consideration for others’ comfort.

5. Show Appreciation Subtly

A handwritten note, a small gift, or even a quiet thank you can go a long way in making others feel valued. Omoiyari is about expressing gratitude in ways that don’t pressure the recipient.

6. Embrace Empathy in Decision-Making

Before making a decision, consider how it will impact others. Whether at work or in personal relationships, practising empathy ensures that choices benefit yourself and those around you.

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