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Journalism of Courage
Vidhu Vinod Chopra, the celebrated director of 12th Fail, recently opened up about a dark chapter in his life.
Reflecting on the aftermath of his first full-length feature film, Sazaye Maut, he revealed the depths of his disillusionment, admitting that he had thoughts of ending his life. In an interview with NDTV, when asked about the ‘zero se restart’ moment from his own life, the filmmaker confessed, “Most people don’t believe it, but if you have read my book Unscripted, you know there was a time when I wanted to kill myself. I was so disillusioned with life.”
He added, “It was a crazy moment in my life where I was so disillusioned, this was the time after I had released Sazaye Maut and I was writing Khamosh. So, if I had to go to a zero moment, I would go to that moment.”
This raw and candid confession sheds light on the emotional toll of unmet expectations and how personal struggles can ignite profound self-discovery and transformation. Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “Disillusionment, like the experience Vidhu Vinod Chopra described, reminds us that difficult times are indeed an inevitable part of life — everyone goes through them in some form or another. While these moments are undeniably hard, they offer a unique opportunity for reflection and self-compassion.”
In these low points, she adds, avoiding the extremes of self-pity or excessive self-criticism is helpful. Instead, balance becomes essential: staying grounded during success and optimistic in tough times. “Moments of disillusionment can become powerful turning points for growth because they force us to confront our vulnerabilities and reassess what truly matters. By finding meaning in setbacks and staying self-compassionate, one can emerge with a renewed sense of direction and strength,” states Baruah.
Creative individuals often view their work as an extension of their identity, making failure in their pursuits feel deeply personal, notes Baruah, adding that this can lead to self-doubt and a loss of confidence, especially after investing significant passion and effort.
To overcome these challenges, it’s essential to rest, reflect, and reconnect with their creative drive through practices like mindfulness or journaling. Failure, while painful, can also be a valuable teacher, offering lessons to refine their craft and rediscover their love for it, ultimately turning setbacks into opportunities for growth.
Here’s how one might do that, according to the expert:
Pause Before Analysing: Avoid overthinking immediately after a setback. Take time to settle emotionally before diving into analysis.
Check in With Yourself: Assess your emotional stability on a scale of 1 to 10. If below 5, take a break and engage in grounding activities like walking or mindfulness.
Separate Work From Identity: Remember that your worth isn’t tied to professional success. See yourself as a whole person beyond your work.
Challenge Cognitive Distortions: Address thoughts like blaming yourself entirely (personalisation), assuming widespread impact (pervasiveness), or thinking setbacks are permanent. Reframe the situation as specific, temporary, and solvable.
Build a Resilience Toolkit: Practice mindfulness, use positive affirmations, and seek support from trusted friends or mentors to regain perspective.
Focus on Growth: Once emotionally stable, reflect on lessons from the setback and use them to guide your next steps.
