Liberalism today is a dogmatic religion which is being imposed: Gaur Gopal Das

From the importance of journaling to refraining from seeking validation on social media to decoding the primary reason behind conflicts — whether it arises at home or between countries — Das spoke on a range of subjects at the event.

Addressing the question of identity, he narrated the example of a friend’s successful and “sorted” brother “who didn’t identify himself as a man” and believed that “he was born to be a woman”. But because he was from a conservative family, “the escape route out of the whole thing was leaving the family and moving abroad to pursue higher studies,” he said. There he underwent gender-reassignment surgery.

The family struggled to accept this change and when the patriarch died, the mother barred her now-daughter from attending the funeral, he said. It was then that Das’s mother came to the aid. “My mother, who hails from a small village in Maharashtra, quit school when she was in Class XI, barely speaks English and is not on social media where we talk about acceptance and tolerance, spoke to this friend’s mother about acceptance, empathy, kindness and sensitivity. She asked her to not give a boy or a girl but a child the right to see her father,” he said. “A lot of people who think themselves to be progressive call my mother regressive because she can’t speak English, dresses up in simple saris, signs in Devanagari script. But to me, she is the most progressive lady.”

Stating that “liberalism today is a dogmatic religion which is being imposed and shoved down people’s throats”, Das stressed the importance of letting one arrive at choices over time, and how people who call themselves liberal or progressive can often lack tolerance. “Conservative minds impose, but a truly progressive mind offers kindness, empathy and sensitivity. The latter doesn’t impose. A progressive mind has respect for others’ choices and gives them space,” Das said.

A graduate in electrical engineering from the College of Engineering, Pune, Das worked with Hewlett Packard for about eight months before he called it quits and decided to become a monk. He joined an ashram in Mumbai in 1996 and spent 25 years there, contemplating ways in which philosophy, religion and psychology can be brought together to make lives more mindful.

Das’s books — Life’s Amazing Secrets: How to Find Balance and Purpose in Your Life (2018), which has sold more than half-a-million copies and has been translated into several international and national languages, and his recently released Energise Your Mind — and his videos on social media, that have over 500 million views, work towards this end, helping individuals strike a balance between work, relationships and spirituality – and navigate the spaces in between.

Addressing the subject of social media, Das said that despite its centrality in our lives, one can’t derive their self-worth from Instagram. “Social media has become a big identity today. But what about others who are not on social media? Do they become irrelevant?” he asked, adding, “If you are deriving your worth from the validation that’s coming from a particular platform, then it is crippling your mental health.”

Responding to a question from a 26/11 Mumbai terror attack survivor in the audience, Das shared that while it is inevitable that trauma or bad experiences from our past would stay with us, it is possible to be better equipped to deal with them. “A mental detox is extremely essential to be in a stable frame of mind. Meditation is one way of doing it. Another very powerful way of doing it is journaling — putting everything that’s there on your mind on paper in a free-flow format. Even if you want to curse, let it also come on the paper. It will help you take it off your chest, at least for a while. If it doesn’t help, open up and confide in someone else, you don’t have to struggle alone.”

The Express Adda is a series of informal interactions organised by The Indian Express Group and features those at the centre of change. Previous guests at the Adda include Union Minister of External Affairs S Jaishankar, Union Minister of Health Mansukh Mandaviya, Union Minister of Housing and Urban Affairs and Petroleum and Natural Gas Hardeep Singh Puri and election strategist Prashant Kishor.