Journalism of Courage
Lessons in how to look good,housekeep,host perfect parties and be ‘marriage ready’
That weddings have spawned a hundred business possibilities is no news. From match-fixers,wedding planners to brass bands,everyone cashes in on the big Indian shaadi tamasha. Entire families come together to assess alliances with a fine-toothed comb. It all starts with that ominous declaration,that a young woman is of marriageable age.” The definitions of this term could vary widely,but the constant is the feverish grooming the prospective bride is expected to undergo. Impression First is an image consulting firm that aims to pit its expertise in the wedding market through its ‘Marriage Ready’ workshops. It will launch training sessions that will help participants develop an appropriate image when approaching a prospective spouse. The package includes behavioural,social and artistic aspects,like relationship management training,house-decoration tips and party-hosting ideas. So,do women in the city or anywhere in India need such image coaching to be marriage ready?
Every parent wants their daughter to be married in a good family and a boy who is professionally successful,” explains Rakesh Agarwal of Impression First. ” Grooms who are NRIs and multinational company executives are the biggest dreams. The point is,when a guy like this decides to marry,what he is looking for,more than anything else,is compatibility and a wife he does not feel embarrassed of in front of colleagues and friends. Today,people are not looking for life partners but lifestyle partners.” The firm’s idea will be replicated in 10 cities through 40 franchise centers by September,and he is confident of its success.
But Mumbai-based marketing executive Ekta Agarwal begs to differ. Marriages are not based on how you host parties or etiquettes and manners. It is based on trust and loyalty,and understanding between two people. These things cannot be taught. She believes such training won’t hold ground in cities where women are more aware of what they want out of relationships. You cannot teach a woman how to run a house,she knows that instinctively. It’s not rocket science! And there are event management companies to help host parties, she laughs.
Image-building to find the right groom relies on the premise that presentation defines and improves chances. Ninety per cent of marriages are arranged,and they are decided in a matter of minutes. You have just that much time to make an impression, says Mruga Kirloskar,Impression First master franchisee for Pune. But this argument is turned on its head by Bengaluru-based financial analyst,Priyanka Ghosh. How do you know what kind of person are you going to meet? No institution can teach you how to deal with situations and ensure a happy relationship.
Both Agarwal and Ghosh agree that though conservative strands exist in weddings even today,many customs have been relaxed. Even the most conservative parents allow a six-month courtship period before the wedding. You need to get real and not build an image in this period,or even beyond it, says Ghosh. Both also counter that the need to groom oneself to a lifestyle model may be felt in the suburban areas,but may fall flat in metros.
But Gujarat-based Sharada Nair,mother of a 24-year-old daughter,feels that such workshops will work,only if they strike a good balance. I believe it’s good if a girl can cook and mind her home without any help. But this should not mean that self-respect and financial independence is sacrificed. And why not train men too? It is ultimately between the husband and wife after all.
