Fatherhood in lockdown: ‘It took a pandemic to slow down and spend more time with my son’

Mostly, mothers are seen as the ones who do more of the caregiving when it comes to children. However, I was active in the caring journey of my son and found it fun and exciting, it was not until lockdown that I noticed the small things that my wife had mastered, for example the skill of making our son eat healthy meals, despite him being a fussy eater.

There was an instance, when my son came to me with his picture book and had some innocent questions for me, which I found more difficult to answer than the annual appraisal in office. I pondered over his questions only returning smiles for responses, tried to divert his attention while he kept touching my chin, and repeating the questions. The lockdown with the work from home meant that not only was I present, but more involved and connected. The sheer bliss of clapping when he chanted those nursery rhymes, putting a chocolate smiley on his tumbler of milk were moments that made our bond even stronger. I was not only the person to hold his finger while walking on the street and playing football and cricket with him, but embarking on a journey that required me to be extremely patient, gentle, always wearing a smile because he had one on all the time.

Sahni revealed the lockdown has taught him to appreciate every little moment with his son. (Source: Sarvesh Sahni)

Lockdown has taught me many things. While adapting to work from home was easy, it was adjusting to work at home that actually took some more time. With domestic help not available, my wife and I are trying our best to be as available for our son as possible. He is in this phase where he is asking us the infamous ‘why’ questions. Trust me there is only so much you can do to keep a toddler busy, especially if you cannot leave the house. It’s time to use the right brain, a preaching that I have been actively practicing with my son, especially during the lockdown.

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Thanks to him, I now know that all blues are not the same, especially if you want to colour the day skyline and the ocean. And that one time when we did break the fancy vase in the drawing room, because football is extremely important.

The new normal hit me when I was on a video conference with my global team. It was evening in India and my son confidently walked in, greeted my colleagues with a casual hello and asked them, “Why are you guys working, isn’t sunset supposed to be play time!” It made me realise that spending more time with family is equally important. If this new working style is the new normal, then we will all have to learn to be more flexible.

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As a father, I often restricted myself to the fun elements in my child’s life. I had or rather I chose to be involved in the cooler jobs like playing with my child. The lockdown has taught me to appreciate every little moment with my son. From one father to another, men need to embrace fatherhood with our whole heart. Participate in smaller things in a child’s growing up journey, these moments are precious. It took a pandemic for me to learn to slow down and spend more time with my son. Pandemic or no pandemic, we all should value the importance of the father-child bond and set an example for our kids what it means to be a dad! This by far has been my biggest learning for 2020.

(The writer is General Marketing Manager, Johnson’s & Aveeno Baby.)