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Journalism of Courage
When it comes to dining etiquette, most of us know the basics: chew with your mouth closed, don’t talk with food in your mouth, and place your napkin on your lap. But true elegance at the table is in the details; the subtle, considerate habits that demonstrate respect and grace.
As William Hanson, British etiquette coach and Executive Director of The English Manner, explains in a YouTube video: “This is advice that is applicable in any situation — from the grandest of gala dinners to the most simple kitchen supper with the family… manners in any setting [are] about other people, not you.”
With that wisdom in mind, here are five dining etiquette tips you probably didn’t know about, peppered with Hanson’s timeless advice.
We’re all hungry, but patience is polite. As William says, “Good manners are selfless, not selfish… so we wait for everyone at the table to have a plate of food in front of them before we start eating.”
This includes refraining from nibbling on bread or sipping soup if others haven’t received their plates yet.
If you see something tempting on the table, water, wine, salad, don’t just dive in. “If you want to help yourself to anything… make sure the people either side of you have it first before you help yourself.”
Being aware of others’ needs before your own shows refined hospitality.
Need to pause mid-meal to answer a question or take a sip? Don’t lay your used utensils on the table.
“We never place dirty cutlery back on the table… Instead, we place the cutlery in what we call the resting position.”
Visualise a clock: place your knife at 3 o’clock and your fork crossing over it toward 8 o’clock (a 3:40 position). It subtly signals that you’re not done yet.
Phones have no place at the table, no matter how casual the meal.
“The dining table is always a phone-free zone… I don’t care what you call it, I don’t care what time of day — mobiles away.” Being fully present is a hallmark of great manners.
When you’ve finished eating, show it. Silently.
“Just like the resting position, there’s a way to place your knife and fork… they go together on the plate like so.” In Britain, cutlery is typically placed vertically at the 6:00 position. In some parts of the world, a slight angle is customary. Either way, it should clearly indicate you’re finished.
Whether you’re enjoying a fancy restaurant meal or a simple family dinner, these small but powerful etiquette habits elevate the experience for everyone.
