Missing the Goal

CAST: Vinay Virmani,Russell Peters,Camilla Belle,Rob Lowe,Anupam Kher

Rating: **

Underdog Canadian-Sikh sportster. Overbearing Sardar father. Ice Hockey. Toronto. With these key words,I give you Speedy Singhs,an Indo-Canadian (check) venture which tells the story of hopeful ice hockey player Rajveer (check),who fights racism (check),and comes out on top. Of course.

When films are this predictable (no one wants to catch underdogs being hammered to the ground,or under the ice,in this case),the only way you’re going to get people watching is to keep everything jumping. On that score,Speedy Singhs falls woefully short. Anupam Kher as Grumpy Papa who wants his puttar to become a good son and take over the family trucking business and leave all this hockey-shockey nonsense doesn’t get a single scene in which he can break out. He spends 99 per cent of the film yelling at his no-account son Rajveer (Virmani),who’d rather sleep in than drive his truck; the one per cent of cheeraan-sheeraan (this is a Punjabbi,with a double b,movie) is reserved for the climax In Which The Good Son Will Win All.

A sporting film with allegedly adversarial teams has no business being this bland: the scenes in the rink,where the racist White guys are made to face off against the amiable brownface lunks in Pugs,make you go to sleep. This is where the clack of the sticks,and the spirit of the players,and the spray of the snow,should have kept the buzz on. The guy who plays the first-pessimistic-then-rah-rah coach (Lowe) acts with such low intensity that he’s barely there. And the mandatory white girl (Belle) romance is,well,the mandatory white girl romance.

This is not a film pretending to be anything other than what it is. The big idea that Singhs are Kings,whether in the Punjab,or in Caneda,which is nothing but an extended Punjab,is faithfully talked up. As is the Punjabi immigrant enterprise: that man is the one who came to this country with nothing in his pocket,and he’s done so well for himself,with a fleet of trucks,and a broad accent. Some of the hearty Singhs,including Virmani,show a bit of timing when they are ribbing each other in authentic Canedian-Punjabbi. And the stand-up comic Russell Peters,who has a fairly large part,gets in a couple of punchlines. They don’t quite make up for all the slackness,nor the lousy ice hockey-shockey,but keep you going.