Karan Johar says God hasn’t made anyone for him, hates to hang out with his married friends: ‘I had no plus one for National Awards’

“You feel the loneliest in your highs and not your lows,” he told Mirza. “In your lows you have your family, friends, parents and kids. I have two cousin sisters I am very close to, I have my best friends. But in your highs what do you do? I remember I received a call that I was getting a National Award. I hung up the call and the first thing I thought about was, ‘What do I do tonight? Whose house do I go to? Whose hand do I hold? A little pat on the back I needed and wanted to feel happy.’”

He said that the sense of loneliness followed him to Delhi for the awards night. “When I went to the awards, they asked me who my plus one was, and I didn’t have anybody. Everybody was discussing all this with their partners, and my mom was not well enough to travel and my kids were too young. It hits you hard.”

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In the same interview Karan opened up about a period when he longed for partnership and companionship. “I am okay now. There was a time when I wanted love, a partner and companionship. I went through all kinds of dynamics — a broken heart, made a film, it helped me heal. I had my doubts if people will accept me for who I am.”

He voiced his frustration with the modern dating encouragement he receives. “Everyone tells you to put yourself out there. I am still trying to know where that ‘there’ is. They say ‘go abroad’ — where in abroad?”

Karan described everyday moments that deepen his solitude and the small ways he copes. “Eating alone also makes you feel lonely. A lot of times I don’t go to the dining table because it makes me feel worse, I eat in my room. I watch something to dilute the nothingness. A partner’s love is completely different from your parents’ and kids’. It’s not about intimacy. It’s about partnership. People are supposed to be a unit of two — we were never meant to fly solo. Maybe rab ne yeh jodi mere liye nahi banayi.”

He went on: “So many times I feel lonely and want to call someone. I have too many friends to call, but they are all married so I don’t want to be a burden or impose myself on them, so I go to all single people because they can understand my situation. New Years are irritating. I never want to go out with couples. And anybody who does PDA in front of me, I feel like killing them. I’m like, ‘Please get a room!’”

At 53, Karan remains hopeful. “They say never say never and if it happens, my arms are wide open like Shah Rukh Khan. I have made the best love stories but unfortunately there is no love for myself.”

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