Opinion Seven saviour sins of desperation

For someone like me,who would eagerly apply for the post of Relationships Editor if there was such a job in a publication,these four temperamental women — Bree Van de Kamp (Marcia Cross) Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman),Susan Delfino (Teri Hatcher) and Gabrielle Solis (Eva Longoria) are the faces of four perplexions (at least) that constantly dog women’s lives. Each represents a dilemma. If Gabrielle is all Gloss That Keeps Going for Toss,like a glistening cellophane paper tightly pulled over childhood trauma; Bree represents Come Let’s Commit a Crime — a “sin” arena we constantly try to protect ourselves from. Lynette is the Incurable Control Freak and Susan Ms Empathy corrupted by Self-Sympathy.

You are guessing right if you are reading this — no editor will pass these lines in my copy. Which is why I take the recourse of a blog to make the point that Desperate Housewives is akin to upside-down relationships whether we are married or single,gay or heterosexual,monogamous or just phonogamous.

In the temperamental outbursts of these women and their men and the sins they refuse to learn from,I find a the reassuring presence of a “gurlfriend”. The narrative and the dialogues oscillate from the warm and grounded folk wisdom of an Oprah Winfrey talk show to the brash judgments on American Idol . There is a lot of Friends in it,and a bit of Sarah Palin on Fox too.

If I had to list the Seven Sins of Desperation in this soap,this is how I would do it. 1. Tweaked Truths and Dishonest Honesty. 2. The Open Secrets of Adulterous Fidelity 3. How to Make a cocktail called Marriage on The Rocks. 4. How to Start a Private Enterprise called Stab In The Back. 5. How to Counsel Victims of Adolescent Adulthood. 6. How to make a documentary called A Day in the Life of a Gay 7. How To Become Best Frenemies (Friends as Enemies). It almost takes care of every faux pas,every error that could dog our lives.

Here,seven lines from the serial (not all from the seventh season though) that helped me pull myself up by the shoestrings and plod on during life’s lively blues.

“There are many things that bind friends together — sharing a laugh over an embarrassing incident,comforting each other in times of need,finding it in our hearts to forgive. But,the thing that binds friends together the most is a secret that changes everything.”

“No matter who we are,we all experience moments of dread. When we ask ourselves: Will anyone believe I’m innocent? Will my daughter be a child of divorce? Will this man break my heart? Are there things that go bump in the night? And sometimes,the answer is yes.”

“Drunk off her ass and not afraid to show it,my kind of gal.”

“Competition. It means different things to different people,but whether it’s a friendly rivalry or a fight to the death,the end result is the same. There will be winners and there will be losers. Of course,the trick is to know which battles to fight. You see,no victory comes without a price.”

“He’s so self-centered he doesn’t even know how self-centered I am.”

“An odd thing happens when we die. Our senses vanish. Taste,touch,smell,and sound become a distant memory,but our sight? Our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what’s visible to the dead could also be seen by the living if they would only take the time to look.”

And my all-time favourite: “I promise no feather duster and no purple bra .”

Amen.