Exclusive | Vidya Balan says Vidhu Vinod Chopra cast her as Parineeta after seeing anger in her eyes, thought she was giving him gaali: Parineeta turns 20

Pradeep Sarkar had worked with you on three music videos before he launched you in his directorial debut Parineeta. He was your mentor, and wrote the script with you in mind. Did you feel then your debut would be a cakewalk?

I didn’t know how it worked. I didn’t come from the business. I didn’t have any friends here who could tell me the producer also had a say. I didn’t know what the role of a producer is, besides putting in the money. Studios were new at that time, so I didn’t know what their contribution was. In Dada’s very first meeting with Vidhu Vinod Chopra, he told him, “I want to cast a star. it’s the title role. Are you crazy? You want to cast a newcomer?” So Dada came back to the office. We were one big team and we had this shared dream. So when he told me, I was heartbroken, but I didn’t let him see that. I told him, “If you’re going to make the film you wanted, you should go ahead.” Then I came out of the office and cried. It came so close, and it’s not happening again! They spoke to a lot of actors. They showed great interest, but Dada wasn’t convinced. And Vinod Chopra is also a director, right? He understood Dada’s conviction and said, “Okay, I’ll give you a chance to audition her.”

You gave quite a few auditions then. Did you get frustrated of why Vinod Chopra can’t see what Pradeep Sarkar did in you?

No, I didn’t. As a matter of fact, I had gone through a spate of rejections in the South, where I’d signed the films and then they didn’t materialize. So I thought maybe this isn’t going to work out for me. But with every audition, I was giving my best. It’s rubbish that I gave some 40 auditions and 17 makeup trials. That’s far from true. There were three or four tests. But I was a bit frustrated because at one point, they wanted to do a modern take on Parineeta so we did a scene in that setup. Then they said they wanted to see it in a traditional setup. And Saif Ali Khan was also there because they wanted to see our chemistry. He had just had Hum Tum (2004) so it was amazing Saif did this. They even got me to do a lip-sync test. Then they changed the hairstyle. Then Binod Pradhan, the cinematographer, came to me and said, “I’ve shot you in so many ad films. When the camera comes on, you always enjoy yourself. But I’m not seeing that enjoyment in you. You’re not being yourself. Forget about it, film hui ki nahi hui, you just enjoy yourself. Baki dekha jayega. And actually in that test, I did that and that was the clincher. So I’ll always be grateful to Binod Pradhan for saying that to me at the right time.

Vidya Balan during an audition of Parineeta.

Have you asked Vinod Chopra after that what was the clincher for him?

The first shot of Parineeta has me turn into the camera and the title appears. We were trying to do that shot for the audition because they wanted an indescribable emotion there. I was so frustrated by then because it wasn’t just Parineeta, but also three years of not working before that. I’d reached my wit’s end. Vinod Chopra said he saw anger in my eyes in that shot. He said, “Tu mujhe gaali de rahi thi, mujhe dikh raha tha” (laughs). That’s not true, but my frustration and anger would’ve shown. That’s the reason he gave me the part.

I believe Saif was also not convinced of a newcomer being cast opposite him initially. Did you feel that while working with him?

I was just happy Saif and Sanju (Sanjay Dutt) agreed to do the film with me finally, whatever their reasons. But I have to say, Saif and I didn’t have any conversations on that film. We hardly spoke with each other. Also, Saif was going through some personal stuff then (divorce with Amrita Singh) so he was preoccupied between takes. It’s not like we struck a friendship. I think maybe that also helped the chemistry in the film. I’ve said a million times, and I’ll say it a million times again, when I say superstar, for me, it means Sanjay Dutt. He’s just larger than life. He’s just so wonderful, I absolutely love him.

Saif Ali Khan and Vidya Balan in Parineeta.

Is there anything common between you and your character Lalita?

The fact that she’s very patient (laughs). I don’t know if I’m as patient 20 years since, but at that time, I was definitely a very patient person considering all that I was going through. I’ve got a lot of resilience in me. And when I love, I love deeply.

How much do you miss Pradeep Sarkar today?

He was my mentor in every way. I never thought he’d not be around for the 20th anniversary! It’s crazy when you think of it. He went very young. I feel angry and frustrated sometimes because he never took care of his health. His wife kept doing her best to keep him healthy, but there’s only so much one can do, right? But he was so obsessed with his work.

Pradeep Sarkar, Vidhu Vinod Chopra, and Vidya Balan.

Parineeta also established your image as a deeply rooted Indian actor. Had they gone ahead with the modern take, do you think your career would have shaped differently?

I don’t know if it’d have been different, but I like the path my career took and the kind of work I got. I played an author-backed role in my first film, that’s a big deal! For someone who doesn’t belong to this business, I got the opportunity to do this! So they saw what I could do with that. I may not have gotten the opportunities I did had I started any other way. Also, at heart, I’m most comfortable being an Indian. I don’t know how to describe that adequately, but I romanticize everything that’s Indian. So I’m very glad they went that route. I love the way the women dressed in that era, in the 1960s. We didn’t see being feminine and sensual as being weak in cinema at that time. I was getting to explore that. Since it was a love story, and I was being wooed by two men, they had to really make me look my best. Every strain in Parineeta is like a painting.

Since you got such a grand debut, did you struggle with sustaining your momentum post Parineeta?

Not at all! I had Lage Raho Munna Bhai, which was a massive success. I did seven films in the next two years. I worked with some of the biggest filmmakers — Mani Ratnam (Guru, 2007), Nikkhil Advani (Salaam-E-Ishq, 2007), Rajkumar Santoshi (Halla Bol, 2008). I was working with some big actors and banners. I was over the moon! I also got substantial parts. Some of those films worked, some didn’t, but I was still receiving a lot of love. Then in 2007-08, I realized I needed to now take the next leap in my career. I don’t think it was a conscious decision, but I responded to the opportunity that came my way. When Ishqiya (2010) happened, I jumped into it head long. I really enjoyed it. And that pretty much set the tone for the rest of my career.

Vidya Balan in Ishqiya. (Express archive photo)

In these 20 years, what have you learnt about how the film industry works? And what have you learnt about yourself?

I remember Siddharth (Roy Kapur, producer, husband) told me a few years ago, and it struck me that it’s so true. The film industry is the most accepting of places. It doesn’t matter what your religious belief or sexuality is, where you live, what you eat, what the colour of your skin is, or the size of your waist is. Nothing matters. It’s a place of equal opportunity. I hope we never lose that and become a political place. We’re above that. I know people talk about nepotism, but that’s not been my reality. If you let something affect you, it will. I have come to love and accept myself the way more and more with each passing day and year. I don’t have to try to be anyone else, but myself. There were a few years where I was at my biggest, and I was still playing the lead in films. So this really is a place that doesn’t discriminate.

What’s the ambition for the next 20 years?

I just want to do out-and-out entertainers right now. That’s my current state of mind. I don’t know main kal kya bolungi. But for the past couple of years, I’ve been feeling I want to have fun while telling stories. Every two years, that state of mind changes and that dictates the kind of genres I do.

Is this because of the success of Bhool Bhulaiyaa 3?

I think Bhool Bhulaiyaa 3 happened because I was feeling this way.

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Finally, do you think today, a female actor can be launched as the titular character by a big production house with a theatrical release?

Oh, absolutely. That’s hugely possible. It’s just that we’re going through a tough time at this point because a lot of films haven’t been working. But I do think it’s a phase. And we should use this phase to rediscover ourselves and the kind of stories we’re telling and how we’re telling them. But there will come a time when we’ll make all kinds of movies. The theatre-going experience is not going anywhere.