Neena Gupta says being forthright has negatively impacted her career, took up the role of ‘dadi maa’ in Lust Stories 2 to deliver some home truths

On why she chose to play ‘dadi maa’ happily in R Balki’s film, Neena said, “Because if it was not dadi maa saying what I am saying then it would not have any impact. That is why it was important for a dadi maa to say these things which we have said in the film.”

Neena says starting a conversation around sex is of utmost importance for youngsters. She said that even as a college-going girl, she believed girls could get pregnant by kissing, and shared her experience of growing up with a “strict mother”.

“When I was growing up, till I was twelve or thirteen, I never saw my parents sleep in a separate bedroom. We all used to sleep in one room where there was one double bed where they slept and me and my brother would sleep on the mattress next to the bed; sometimes I would sleep between my parents. We didn’t know anything about sex. My mother never told me about what is sex, she never told me what are periods. When I was in college, my mother used to be so strict that she would not even let me go to watch a movie with my girlfriends.”

“I remember, till I was in college, thanks to the movies we used to see, I believed that you can get pregnant by kissing. Forget about fathers, even mothers are scared of broaching the subject with their daughters. In the earlier times, the girl was given some information before she got married. They were told what would happen on the first night, so that she isn’t scared or the guy doesn’t run away. However, even then, women were told it was their job to deliver children and how they need to fulfil their ‘duty’ when their husband asks for sex. This happens today also, things have not changed much. So, in that respect, this story is very important. At least it has started the conversation, that too in a big way” she adds.

She then shares why she decided to be an open person who talks about her life issues frankly. “It has been a difficult experience. Things have started changing but we have a long way to go. Me being so vocal, sach kahoon toh (to be honest), has not been very good for me because people don’t like being told the truth most of the times. So, it has gone against me, vis-à-vis my career also. But at my age, I was like, thik hai ab kya kar lega koi, chalo (it’s ok, what will people do to you now?), now just speak up openly. What do I have to prove? People started looking at me as a good actress after Badhaai Ho, khatam baat.”

When she was told it was not after Badhaai Ho, but from the very beginning of her career that she was a good actor, Neena quipped, “Back then there was a list of things that one needed to be called a good actor. For instance, 1: Your film that you worked in should be a hit, 2: Your role in that film should be good… There used to be three- four parameters which I never got at once, but I got all of it in Badhaai Ho. I think I just lucked out with that film, kismet ka khel hai,” says the 64-year-old actor.

Neena then revealed that being “moohfat” (forthright) has worked against her. “Bohot moohfat hona (Being too forthright) is also not a very good thing because sometimes people don’t like it.”

When asked if a stereotypes follows women who are vocal in the film industry, Neena said, “It used to happen, but now things are changing. Balki gave me this very different role. I am doing six to seven absolutely different kind of characters. But this change has happened now. Earlier you would get roles on the basis of the image that media has made of you. Media used to call me a strong woman, and I would get negative roles, vamps’ roles. A strong woman meant a bad woman. Mere saath aisa hi hota tha (It has happened with me). I used to get negative roles because I used to wear clothes with spaghetti straps, I was too vocal and I was too moohfat and that went against me.”

Neena then remembers how she once read Dev Anand’s advice to people who are popular and always in the limelight, on how to manage their image in the society. “Once I was reading about Dev Anand sahab, he has written that when you are in a public eye, thoda bohot uss hisaab se chalna padta hai, aap apna sab kuch khol ke nahi bata sakte. It was like that during that time because people then take things otherwise, so you have to be a little careful,” Neena concluded.