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For many of us who grew up in the 90s, romance was defined by Shah Rukh Khan‘s beckoning smile and his beckoning, wide open arms. Our hearts melted when he told Madhuri Dixit, “Aur paas, aur paas, aur pass” and when he looked deep into the eyes of Kajol as she walked the aisle in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Not just Shah Rukh, but many heroes and heroines of the Hindi cinema made us believe in ‘love at first sight’. We have seen love stories which start on college campuses where the boy and the girl are captivated by each other’s beauty and youth, face opposition from the family or society and then end up together to live ‘happily ever after’. We have rarely seen a close-to-real portrayal of romantic relationships in Hindi cinema.
But on those rare moments when love stories were not borne out of lust and grew organically and were rooted in reality, Irrfan Khan was at the forefront. Irrfan was not your typical romantic hero, didn’t have the quintessential looks and charm that you associate with Bollywood stars. He was also the actor who made us realise that you don’t have to be over the top or dance around trees to convey your emotions. He made us cry, smile and laugh with his romantic overtures in films like Life In A Metro (2007), Lunchbox (2013), Piku (2015) and Qarib Qarib Single (2017). Sure, Irrfan did start out and consolidate his position as an intense actor but many cinephiles also remember how he never went overboard to impress his ladylove, and by extension, the audience. He simply swept into the hearts with his expressive and charming eyes.
Once Irrfan even said that he could not do romance the way Shah Rukh does. “I want to do romance that is inside me. You cannot identify with somebody else’s romance. Everybody has their way to show romance, I have my own style of loving a girl,” he had told IndiaTimes.
Irrfan broke out of the one-note conventional portrayal of romance in Anurag Basu’s film Life in a Metro. He was the endearing Monty who is worried that all the petticoats have been tailored to fit his fiancee when Konkona Sensharma’s Shruti confesses her feelings minutes before he’s supposed to tie the knot with someone else. He doesn’t act like her knight in shining armour when she confesses Mumbai takes more than it gives. The ordinariness with which he says his lines is funny and cathartic at the same time. Also, how he meets her through a matrimonial site and despite being rejected, doesn’t follow her like a stalker but lets her be, resonates deeply. This is how real life works, or should work.
Known for his affable smile and genial ways, Irrfan taught us that you can fall in love not just with a face but with the essence of a person, their ideologies and views in Ritesh Batra’s Lunchbox (2013). The film revolved around a neglected wife Ila (Nimrat Kaur) and Saajan Fernandes (Irrfan Khan), a widowed corporate employee nearing retirement, who never meet each other but communicate through handwritten notes and home-cooked meals. Watching the conversations between these lonely souls amid the hustle-bustle of ever-moving Mumbai is charming. Their letters are always written simply yet are loaded with thoughts. Maybe they write to each other just to be heard by someone, for emotional strength and there’s no longing for romance. But both Nimrat and Irrfan through their unspoken emotions make us hope they meet. Irrfan’s Saajan Fernandes was a perfect alternative to Dhanush’s obsessed, over-possessive, stalker Kundan in Raanjhanaa, which was released in the same year as Lunchbox.
With films like Piku and Qarib Qarib Singlle, Irrfan emerged as an everyman whose approach towards romance was never generic. He had told PTI, “I never approach a role as a romantic hero, all I know is I wanted to do a love story. To do a love story you don’t need to behave like a romantic hero, you will fall in love when you are into the character, and you should be able to communicate or share your feelings through cinema. If you follow certain mannerisms or style (to look like a romantic hero) it will become generic. You have to explore romance.”
Shoojit Sircar’s 2015 slice-of-life film Piku was primarily about the relationship between a father (Amitabh Bachchan) and daughter (Deepika Padukone). But Irrfan made his own space in the movie when he appeared as Rana. Rana bore a resemblance to Monty of Life in a Metro. It was funny when he refused to drive until Piku (Deepika) sat in the front seat with him. The subtlety in the chemistry between Deepika and Irrfan makes it even more beautiful. The love and admiration for each other are never expressed in words. Rather, it is visible in those stealing glances, arguments during the road trip, and sharing of egg rolls in Kolkata. You would hardly see Irrfan utter a word to Deepika, but his body language and his eyes speak of his attraction towards her.
In Qarib Qarib Singlle (2017), Irrfan as Yogi was a man whom you won’t find attractive at first glance. You would need to give him time to grow on you. He is not the one who would bring flowers for a date. Instead, he would get her a crate of mangoes. Of course, what would one do with flowers? He makes it pretty clear, ‘Love me as I am’ because he is not the one who is going to burn bridges for love. He is a more realistic man who also doesn’t mind looking for love in his 40s on a dating app. It is a love story unlike any I had seen. It didn’t have the verbosity of old Hindi romantic drama.
Irrfan Khan created an alternative template for the Hindi film romantic hero – relatable, funny, self-aware and romantic in the most nonchalant fashion. His brand of romance was free from any sort of pretence and he also asserted that age is just a number when it comes to finding love. When he romanced on-screen, it felt like he was setting realistic expectations. The love that his eyes exuded will always be missed.
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