Anupam Kher recalls family was thrown out of house when he couldn’t pay rent: ‘Producer humiliated me, slept on beach’

“When people think this an age to retire, put you in a slot of ‘veteran, thespian, legend’, that they will give you a lifetime achievement record and you will walk into the sunset, I am always constantly fighting that, because who is anybody to decide what I should do with my life?” Kher tells SCREEN.

Edited excerpt:

Watch: Anupam Kher recalls being mocked, ‘humiliated’ in Bollywood: ‘Had to sleep on beach’

Do you feel age is a barrier in the film industry? Especially because you played an old man in your debut film. 

There is an age barrier everywhere. In India, we celebrate mediocrity sometimes, anybody who does slightly better acting, we say, ‘Waah kya kaam kiya hai.’ When I came to the movies in 1984, people were horrified that I was 28, trying to play a 65-year-old man. But I knew that if I pull this off nicely, I will be able to survive for the next 40 years. There are barriers of ‘hero, heroines’ and you have to break those barriers by being confident. You need to have no fear of failures. It is fear which makes you mediocre.

You were 28 when you made your debut. What did you have at that age that you don’t have at 69?

I have not stopped dreaming since the time I was a small kid wanting to get into films. At 28, I had nothing to lose.  I had lost my hair! It was a more important quality than being a drama school gold medalist. Every office I would visit, they would tell me, ‘Gold medal ka kya karna hai humne, aapke toh baal he nahi hai. Aap writer ya assistant director ban jao (You don’t have hair, what do we do with your gold medla? Try becoming a writer or an assistant director instead). But I knew all I needed was a chance and I will prove it. I got with Saaransh.

What was the rejection like then, when you were starting out at that age?

Rejections do depress and hurt you. But Mumbai is a city which will give everyone an opportunity– you need to be ready then. I have gone through a lot of pains over being rejected. Once, in 1983, I had no money to pay rent, it was overdue for three months. It was me, my brother, mother and two friends in one room and the landlord kept our luggage outside. I had to pay him Rs 2,100 by evening. So, I went to a producer, who used to live in a hotel.

He had a packet in his hands of money, and said he would narrate me a story and this bundle of money would be my signing amount. Now, I am an educated actor, but the story was atrocious. I realised while he was narrating it, that he wants me to act out the lines. So, if the line is about rains, I had to pretend it is raining, gushing winds, I had to pretend I am being blown. He would get the bundle of money near me– and as I tried to take it, pull it away. This was the humiliation…

I remember sleeping on the beach on a newspaper, because there was no place to stay. But your tough times, the humiliations, many years later become your best stories. I’d always tell myself, ‘It’s just a matter of time, hold on.’

The trailer has a line which talks about creating a legacy before everything ends. Are there times when you think what will happen when the lights of life get shut?

When you reach 69, these thoughts come. But then you think about Clint Eastwood who is 93 and is still making films. There is always a brighter side to life, I am an eternal optimistic. We are fortunate to be in a profession where if your mental faculties are working and if you are physically fine, you can work till your 90s. It is one life, and I am so fortunate, that a small-town Shimla boy came to Mumbai with Rs 37 in my pockets and I have done over 500 films.