Vidya Balan would go to a temple alone at night, and ask why God was punishing her: ‘Why did you dangle the carrot?’

Vidya Balan said that her faith was being tested when she was dropped from several projects at the start of her career.

New Delhi | July 5, 2023 10:40 AM IST

3 min read

Vidya Balan was last seen in Neeyat.

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Actor Vidya Balan confessed that she had a crisis of faith when several projects were snatched away from her at the start of her career. Vidya was labelled a ‘black cat’ by the South film industries when a movie that she had signed for with Mohanlal was shelved. In quick succession, she said, she was either thrown out of or replaced in several projects that she had lined up.

During this time, Vidya said on Ranveer Allahbadia’s podcast, she would go to a temple near her house and vent her frustration. She said, “Within a span of three years, there was one film where I was literally thrown out after shooting for a week. There were two films that got shelved midway, and there were nine other films in which I got replaced. It was a very tough time. I’m someone who prays a lot, and I was heartbroken.”

Also read | Vidya Balan reveals she pretended to be a beggar outside a five-star hotel as a dare: ‘They just looked the other way’

She continued, “I had these conversations with God. I had this Sai Baba mandir close to my house in Chembur, and I would go there when there was no one around at night. I would sit there and have conversations with Baba, and say, ‘Why did you dangle the carrot in front of me, if this is what you were going to do?’ I couldn’t understand it. I hadn’t done anything wrong, and I felt like I was being punished for something I hadn’t done.”

Asked if her faith was being tested, Vidya said yes. She revealed that she actually started to believe that she was jinxed, when she was dropped for the first time from an ad film, after having around 70-odd commercials under her belt. She said that she also worked with Irrfan in an anthology show, but it was only their episode which wasn’t aired. But she admitted that this was an important experience for her to have, because without it, she wouldn’t be where she is now. “I was really being put through the ringer, to know who I am first,” she said.

Vidya is now among the most well-respected actors of her generation. She has delivered acclaimed performances in films such as The Dirty Picture, No One Killed Jessica, Sherni and Jalsa. She will next be seen in the murder mystery film Neeyat, due out in theatres this Friday.

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