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Tuesday, October 20, 2020

‘Why does society place men on a higher pedestal?’: This woman’s powerful post on sexism, motherhood, gender quality

Is gender equality still a distant dream?

By: Trends Desk | Kolkata | March 12, 2017 7:24:11 pm
Is a working mother a bad mother? (Source: Humans of Bombay)

The world just celebrated International Women’s Day, but do we really care about a woman’s aspirations and regard her with the same respect that of a man. Women everywhere around the world became a victim of everyday sexism. recently, when internationally acclaimed civil rights lawyer Amal Clooney delivered a speech at the UN, all a leading magazine could see is her baby bump! Yes, the lawyer, who is married to Hollywood star George Clooney and expecting twins, was reduced to some ‘red-carpet eye candy’. In the world, where it’s thought a woman’s looks drive her through success and not her mettle and caliber.

And in a society where women are still considered a ‘weaker sex’ and often to bear the brunt of expectations on an everyday life, the difficulties increases when she becomes a mother. While only now women will be getting a six-month maternity leave along with some additional benefits that of a creche, it will still remain difficult. When a mother decides to choose her work or career first, she is labeled as a ‘bad mother’. Taking care of the family and children are the duty of a woman, but if a man does it, he is being supportive or rather doing something extraordinary.

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Putting these valid questions in perspective, CEO of UBS shared her experiences on Humans of Bombay’s Facebook page and people could not agree more.

Read her full post here

“I was raised in a middle class family that placed the most importance on education and being financially independent. I was one of the 50 students hired by Grindlays Bank right after graduating from DSE and I started at the bottom. My first few stints included delivering pizza to my bosses, labelling 15,000 chairs and keeping stock of stationery, but I loved it! It was a male dominated work environment, and most people thought I would get married and quit…no one really took me seriously. But I did everything to excel — I would study long hours after work, I would be the first one to enter and last one to leave. In fact, I met my husband at this company and even though I was married at the age of 24 — my passion to make it never died.

Even when I was pregnant, believe it or not I was working right ‘till the day of my delivery — I finished my meeting and left straight from office for my surgery! Back then, the maternity leave was just 3 short months and there were no creches at work — so I would bundle my daughter up with the nanny, keep her in a hotel nearby and rush in between work to feed her. While my daughter was growing up, I realised that the stereotypes are created by society and on so many occasions by women. I remember, I was traveling for work once and couldn’t attend her parent-teacher meet, so my husband took her instead and all the mother’s there applauded him for being so ‘involved’— he came back feeling on top of the world but for mothers it’s considered a part of their duty and that’s where the problem lies. I was termed, a ‘bad mother’ because I couldn’t make it and this is 1 of a 100 incidents. Once when he took her to a birthday party, everyone there praised him and said, ‘your wife is so lucky — you’re a great husband’. He is the best man I could have ever asked for, but why does society place men on a higher pedestal? Isn’t he as responsible for her school and extra curricular activities as I am? Aren’t we equals?

When she was 2 years old and had 104 fever, I had a road show the next day — so my husband stayed at home and asked me not to worry. Leaving my daughter behind when she was ill doesn’t mean I don’t love her– on any other day I would have taken that day off…but my husband did it instead…so does that make me a bad mother?

My fight is not about my work, it’s about not having gender equality. As a working woman, I’ve been so disciplined and made my way to being the CEO of UBS, I’ve cracked billion dollar deals and gone home after to help my daughter with her science project. I’m on the World’s top 50 women on the business list, we set up Moelis from scratch and I still have 20 hour days but that doesn’t make me any less of a homemaker. If we really want to progress, gender equality should be on top of the list — where men and women are equals, where a woman’s career is deemed as important as a man’s and where a man isn’t treated like God for being involved at school or in the house. Just basic equality.”

The post has gone viral now over 8,000 shares in just 24 hours.


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