‘You have to pay even to breathe’: Indian woman compares socialising in India, Australia

“But here in Australia, I can meet someone at a park, walk by the beach, sit in a library, or just spend an afternoon somewhere without ordering anything,” she said.

‘You have to pay even to breathe’

For Smidha, the difference also made her reconsider something she had previously taken for granted.

Before moving to Australia, she said she had never really questioned the idea that meeting friends usually meant going somewhere where one had to spend money.

“Back home, milna hai toh pehle decide karo coffee kahan peena hai” (Back home, if you want to meet someone, you first have to decide where to have coffee), she said.

She argued that the issue goes beyond cafes and restaurants, pointing to the availability of public spaces where people can simply spend time. “Somewhere along the way, a lot of our cities became places where you have to be a customer before you can simply just be a person,” she said.

She summed up the feeling in the caption accompanying the video. “Saans lene ke bhi paise lagte hai (You have to pay even to breathe).”

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A post shared by Kahani & Conversations | Smidha (@kahaniandconversations)

From lack of third spaces to weather and culture

The post sparked a wider discussion about public spaces, urban planning, and how people socialise in Indian cities.

Some users agreed with Smidha, saying Indian cities lack enough comfortable, accessible places where people can gather without spending money.

“India severely lacks third spaces. No lakes, parks, trees or anything to hangout,” one user wrote.

“Summer heat, non existent nature and public infrastructure in the cities force us to limit ourselves to indoor spaces only!” another commented.

Others felt the weather itself plays a major role in shaping these habits. One user argued that while parks and beaches are technically free, India’s heat can make spending long periods outdoors difficult.

“This is true. I’ve another theory though – India is very hot, which requires third spaces to be cool. We can hang out in the beach or park but it gets very uncomfortable very quickly. So we’re forced to be indoors if we want to be comfortable – maybe we should bring back hanging out at each others houses,” the person wrote.

Another user connected the issue with changing lifestyles and fitness. “That’s one of the reasons people find it difficult in their fitness journey, every socialization revolves around food.”

The discussion also raised questions about consumer culture. “I’m curious, Consumerism – is this an India problem, or did we just get so used to cafes and malls that we forgot how to hang out for free?” a user asked.