Indian man living in Norway compares elderly care systems: ‘We mix love with duty, money’

According to him, one of the biggest differences is that Norway’s system aims to ensure that an elderly person’s quality of life does not depend entirely on their children’s financial situation or availability. “The system is built so an old parent’s comfort does not depend on how much their son earns, how much their daughter can love, or how kind their daughter-in-law is,” Vinod wrote.

He then compared this with the expectations often placed on Indian families. In India, he said, choosing an old-age home for aging parents can invite criticism from relatives, neighbours and society at large.

“In India, if you put your aging parents in an old-age home, the whole street talks about it,” he wrote.

Vinod also highlighted the pressures faced by many middle-class families, who may have to manage jobs, home-loan EMIs, children’s school fees and the medical costs of aging parents simultaneously. He said some parents may even hesitate to speak about their needs because they fear becoming a burden on their children.

Read the post:

In Norway, ageing parents do not move in with their children.

They live in their own homes, or in well-run care homes, with nurses checking on them, meals arranged, activities planned, and their dignity intact.

But that doesn’t mean families become distant.

They meet on…

— Vinod (@turiyatman) September 1, 2026

“It is not that we do not love our parents. Norwegians love theirs too. But we mixed love with duty, money, dependency and guilt, and called it ‘sanskar’,” Vinod said.

His larger argument was that caring for elderly citizens should not be left entirely to individual families. He suggested that older people should have the option to age with dignity and financial independence, without feeling guilty or dependent on their children.

“Do we need a system in India to address this? Isn’t this as important as education for our kids?” he asked.

The post drew a range of responses on X, with users debating whether such a model could work in India given the country’s family structures, economic realities and social expectations.

One user argued that the comparison overlooked the differences between the two societies.

“This is India not Norway and our social structure is best among the lot, a joint family is always better to avoid depression which is growing in nuclear families. There are more pros than cons of a joint family where, expenses, emotions, problems, happiness and challenges are shared. What is the meaning of comparing apples with oranges. In Norway, police can detain you for mis treating your child so don’t abuse kind of freedom you have here,” the user wrote.

Another agreed that India needs stronger systems to help older people remain independent, but pointed out that affordability remains a major issue.

“Yes the systems need to be built in a way that parents are independent. A lot also depends on their or their kids income levels since more of these care homes – the good ones – are expensive…and out of reach for the middle class,” the user wrote.

A third user supported Vinod’s argument, saying that greater state support could reduce the financial pressure on families.

“So well said – genuinely factual and informed, not just emotional. Good point on kids too. If state-funded education takes that load off parents, parents naturally have more savings and freedom for their own old age, and kids grow up more independent too. It’s the same principle both ways: less obligation, more system support, and love stays love instead of duty,” they wrote.