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Thursday, December 02, 2021

Five couples who will benefit from the FB break-up tool

Are break-ups only about romantic couples? Ask a foodie on a diet and he/she will tell you about the heartburn of seeing a glistening jar of Nutella in a supermarket aisle. Here are five ex-couples who probably had a hard time saying goodbye.

Written by Premankur Biswas | Kolkata |
November 23, 2015 3:36:59 pm

It has happened. By the grace of some mystical force (and some shrewd think-tanks) Facebook has finally grown a heart. Soon, a feature will allow people who have split up with a spouse or partner to turn on an option that spares them the emotional pain of constantly seeing their ex-lover’s posts and pictures in their news feed on the world’s largest social network. Which means, you need not scroll down your Facebook feed with the sinking fear of coming across meltdown-causing pics of your ex doing everyday things like posing next to Diwali rangolis, wolfing down vada pavs and making Miley Cyrus faces. But are break-ups only about romantic couples? Ask a foodie on a diet and he or she will tell you about the heartburn of seeing a glistening jar of Nutella in a supermarket aisle. Here are five ex-couples who probably had a hard time saying goodbye.

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Yashraj Films and chiffon sarees: How difficult must it had been for the six yards of chiffon to see a Yash Raj heroine in cheap polyester suits in the recently-released Titli. So what if she played a lower-middle class girl from Delhi suburbs, a true Yashraj heroine would have found an excuse to run down to Swiss alps and flutter her Manish Malhotra/Neeta Lulla chiffon saree to a Lata Mangeshkar number. The last Yashraj heroine in a chiffon saree was Aishwarya Rai Bachchan in Mohabbatein. Thankfully, now, all the chiffon sarees of the world can move on to the arms of the quintessential Bhojpuri film hero.

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Akshay Kumar and chest hair: Long before he settled down in holy matrimony with Twinkle Khanna, Akshay Kumar had an intense relationship that he made no bones about — and that’s with his chest hair. In film after film, we had the pleasure making acquaintance with Akshay’s furry chest, an entity by itself. They posed for magazine covers together, unflinchingly displaying their fondness for each other. Then metrosexuality happened and Calvin Klein ads told us that body hair is no longer cool. It must have been a difficult break up and we are sure there have been pictures that made Akshay Kumar wistful enough to want to get back with chest hair. Thank god for Facebook and limited profile access.


Priyanka Chopra and her Indian accent: Quantico,the American TV show which is supposed to be Priyanka Chopra’s Hollywood launchpad, is burdened with many responsibilities. It’s the first mainstream American TV show with a South Asian protagonist. Making FBI look like an organisation run by ACP Pradyuman and his cronies. And if that’s not enough, it also has the dubious distinction of breaking up Priyanka Chopra with her nice, well-rounded Indian accent. To be fair, Chopra’s relationship with her accent is more of a long distance one. But now Chopra is courting a half-American, half-south Delhi accent, and we all know how long-distance relationships pan out.

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Meira Kumar and Baith Jaiye: In fits of extreme boredom, if you have trawled the dark corners of Indian television, you have probably come across a beaming face chiding a roomful of screaming men with an almost musical phrase “baith jaiye” (please sit down). Meira Kumar, the former speaker of Lok Sabha had the unthankful task of presiding over a Lok Sabha meeting and it’s to her credit that she did such a dignified job of it. Her catchphrase, “bath jaiye”, enunciated with a mixture of motherly affection and school-teacherish admonishment, has Youtube remixes dedicated to it. Today, a much more assertive Sumitra Mahajan mans the chair, but we are sure Kumar misses her bath jay days.

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Pahlaj Nihalini and sleaze: It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the chief of Censor Board of India, Pahlaj Nihalani, is an ardent admirer of our prime minister Narendra Modi. He has made a series of videos with expensive CGI technology to prove that. But before Narendra Modi reined supreme in his heart, Nihalani would court sleaze in all different forms. From making his heroes dry-hump his heroines (Aankhen) to letting Anil Kapoor lift his lungi and mouthing lines like “khada hai”, Nihalani has done it all. Today, he may find the idea of Daniel Craig and Monica Bellucci share saliva but there was a time when his lead players (Ritu Shivpuri and Govinda in Aankhen) pour tumblers of water over each other and roll on the floor. This is one phase Mr Nihalani would happily forget.

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