A Bengali father gets widespread praise after declining to perform ‘kanyadaan’https://indianexpress.com/article/trending/trending-in-india/at-a-bengali-wedding-father-of-the-bride-refuses-to-perform-kanyadaan-post-goes-viral-5571483/

A Bengali father gets widespread praise after declining to perform ‘kanyadaan’

The family of the bride also clarified that the decision not to perform kanyadaan wasn't a spontaneous one, but something both families had decided on over six months ago.

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Many dubbed is as a ‘wedding of change’ and it started a debate online about many traditions that are often normalised. (Source: Asmita Ghosh/Twitter)

The father of a bride in Bengal is getting a lot of praise after he refused to abide by the tradition of giving away his daughter to her husband on her wedding day. A video that went viral on Twitter has sparked a debate on stereotypes and rituals at weddings that many are not comfortable following.

In the video that has been widely shared, the ceremony was presided over by a female priest and when asked to perform the ceremony of ‘kanyadaan‘, the father of the bride refused to do so. The father of the bride also gave a short speech on why he was refusing to follow the custom, and the video was shared by a guest at the wedding.

“I’m at a wedding with female pandits. They introduce the bride as the daughter of <mother’s name> and <father’s name> (mom first!!!). The bride’s dad gave a speech saying he wasn’t doing kanyadaan because his daughter wasn’t property to give away,” Twitter user @asmitaghosh18  said in a tweet that has received over 3800 likes.

“I’m so impressed,” the user said in the tweet.

While many were impressed, others questioned the performing of a religious ceremony if it wasn’t going to be followed properly. The Twitter user clarified that the decision of the bride’s father to not perform ‘kanyadaan‘ wasn’t a spontaneous decision, and that both families had agreed to it over six months ago.

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“This decision was actually made 6 months ago & both families were in agreement with it,” the Twitter user said said in a reply to a tweet.

And answering all those who were against the ritual and traditions being disregarded, the father of the bride said that the wedding was conducted in accordance with “Gandharva” traditions (a tradition in which the marriage is arranged by the couple).

Nevertheless, the video of the ceremony impressed many.

Recently, the video of a Bengali woman who was getting married went viral after she refused to perfom a ritual in which she was supposed to throw rice to her mother saying she has ‘repaid all her debts’. The woman retorted that the one can never repay one’s debt to parents, which earned her a lot of praise.