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“Elementary, my dear Apple”: If great detectives tried to understand Apple’s ‘Loop’y Invite

  As most of the world tries to decipher what Apple’s “Let us loop you in” invite means, we decided to step into the literary world and show it to some of the sharpest minds in the world of detection. And well, this is what they said (we think – remember, this is fiction!): Sherlock […]

Written by Nimish Dubey |
March 11, 2016 2:50:44 pm

 

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As most of the world tries to decipher what Apple’s “Let us loop you in” invite means, we decided to step into the literary world and show it to some of the sharpest minds in the world of detection. And well, this is what they said (we think – remember, this is fiction!):

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Sherlock Holmes

“Intriguing. Fascinating, even. You see the words, but you do not read them. “21 March Cupertino” is not just a date. It is a march by 21 people who will converge on the Cupertino campus and ‘loop people in.’ This is underhand evil, Watson. People will be captured, their thoughts influenced, and a new power will rise. Ask Lestrade to drag Reichenbach Falls again, will you? This stinks of Moriarty. And see if you can get an original paper version of that invite – I would like to taste the paper, smell the ink, and lick the dust off it before I tell you more. ”

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Hercule Poirot

“Mon ami, this is truly an invite to test the mighty mind of Hercule Poirot. In fact, I strongly suspect that this invite is intended not for the people to whom it has been sent, but is in fact targeted at me! Observe how the little grey cells have been made large and blended with others. So call me arrogant, but March 21 will see an attempt by a syndicate to get the amazing detective on their side. They intend to get me into the loop, by blending their feeble cells with mine own grey cells of massive intellect. But they shall fail. I know it!”

Jack Reacher:

“Cupertino, 21 March. It’s good that the date is some distance away. I can hitch hike, walk and take bus rides to get there by that time. I would say the different colours represent organisations that are attempting to hold a massive gathering hostage – the loop is likely to be something in the nature of handcuffs. No, I don’t trust technology anyway. I will need to get in touch with the nearest army base to get some help. If they don’t help, well, I will help myself. Protect to serve. Never off duty.”

Inspector Morse

“This is not cryptic enough, but if you read the first three words backwards, you get ‘pool su tel,’ which makes me wonder if they are working on a pool of funds to sue telephone companies. Why would they do so? Look, figure that out yourself. Now, I need a drink.”

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Miss Marple

“Oh dear, oh dear, all this deviousness when a little common sense was all that was needed. Is it not obvious? I think the person who sent this invite is actually subtly hinting at blackmailing someone…observe the attempt to make it sound special – ‘let us’ – but ‘loop you in’ could mean ensnaring an unsuspecting user into something they know nothing of….like making them buy a very expensive watch….”

Dr Robert Langdon

“The intersecting circles are an ancient symbol representing the meeting of a number of different worlds. And if you read ‘us’ as ‘US’, I think this is clearly an indication that the company is looking to bring together three forces to ally with the US, perhaps in exchange for help in its case against the FBI. The loop is actually a cord that represents strength and valour, so I strongly suspect that there will be some ritual involving people placed in a single sphere (‘loop’) even as a certain number of stars move into a point of intersection represented by the circles on the invite.”

Lord Peter Wimsey

“Heavens, my dear chap. What a notion. There is nothing serious here. Clearly the invite is to some sort of rave party – hence the references to “loop” – and of course, the presence of all those circles might hint at the presence of intoxicants: circles are hypnotic, remember?”

Manabu Yukawa (Detective Galileo)

“Why are you looking at the words? The words are only a distraction, intended to move your attention away from what really matters. The message is in the shapes – the swirls and circles in the background. Circles represent infinitely, the mystery is in the colours…none are strong on their own, but bring them together and shapes emerge. I will need time to study this…”

Philip Marlowe

“Circles, swirls, loops…the city of Cupertino seeks me out like a worm on a fishing rod attracts a fish. Will it get me into the loop? Many have tried. It is part of my life. It is one infinite loop, it all is. And invites now no longer come on paper, so they don’t crumble into dust like our own flesh and bone. A world that is wired. Looped. And goes around. What was the question again?”

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ACP Pradyuman

“Daya, venue pe pahuncho..aur tod do darwaza! Apne aap pata chal jaayega kya hone waala hai!”

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