When Varun Dhawan admitted to feeling insecure about Sidharth Malhotra: ‘I doubt anyone…’

Dhawan added that around that time, negativity had begun to surround his family and nepotism. “Back then, I had not planned all this. I thought I worked hard and landed the role. But people are saying otherwise. The reception hasn’t always been flowery. I’ve had to fight that a lot. No matter what, I will always fight. But back then, I had to fight a lot. Through my performance, my work. When the films began to get successful, then the misconception broke.”

 

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Reclaiming power

Kruti Shah, cell psychologist, Aditya Birla Education Trust says that we often assume confidence means never feeling threatened by someone else’s success. Social media reinforces this belief, portraying successful people as constantly secure, unaffected, and self-assured. Yet psychology tells us something very different.

What stood out in Varun Dhawan’s admission was not vulnerability alone, but it was emotional accountability. He didn’t blame Sidharth Malhotra for making him feel insecure, but simply acknowledged that the emotion existed,” she says.

Shah says that confidence is not the absence of insecurity, but the ability to acknowledge insecurity without allowing it to define your identity.

“When two people begin similar journeys together, comparisons are almost inevitable. Whether it’s actors making their debut, colleagues joining the same organization, entrepreneurs launching businesses, or students graduating together, our minds naturally compare progress,” she tells indianexpress.com.

Chetna Luthra, Clinical Psychologist, Marengo Asia Hospitals, Gurugram agrees, adding that it is natural to look at your colleagues and feel insecure or vulnerable. However, true strength lies in accepting, acknowledging and working in improving oneself instead of letting down oneself or others.

Luthra says that Dhawan, instead of taking things personally and holding grudges, openly expressed his feelings and thoughts and worked upon improving himself. Not only did he work hard for his place in the industry, he also appreciated his co-star for his talents and success.

“While it is not a bad thing to experience insecurity — in fact, it is a valid human experience — what we do and how we address these painful or uncomfortable emotions is where the accountability lies,” she shares.

It’s in our DNA

From an evolutionary perspective, Shah explains that social comparison helped us understand our place within a group and motivated us to adapt. “The challenge today is that comparison is no longer occasional; it is constant. Left unchecked, it slowly shifts from evaluating our progress to defining our self-worth,” she says, adding that this is where many people struggle.

“Instead of acknowledging insecurity, they suppress it. They convince themselves that the other person’s success is undeserved or simply luck. Psychologically, these are defense mechanisms that temporarily protect self-esteem by shifting attention away from our own discomfort,” she further elaborates.

However, avoiding insecurity also comes at a cost. Shah believes it breeds jealousy, defensiveness, unhealthy competition, and resentment. Energy that could have been invested in learning and growth is instead spent protecting the ego.

When we become aware of these patterns, Luthra says that we gain the ability to respond intentionally rather than react automatically. It also takes away from the work we need to put in for self growth and refinement. “Understanding that no human is perfect and that’s what makes one human is also a part of accountability,” she concludes.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.