Raghav Juyal reveals he chooses growth over checklists in romantic relationships

For him, the value of a relationship lies in discovery and challenge, rather than predictability. He explained, “Okay, you have this too? This is a new thing. How can this be? And if that thing is challenging me, and my emotions and my personality, then I think there will be some growth.”

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. 

He added that disagreements also play a role in this journey: “If you fight with them, and then when you make up, and relax a little, then you will think, ‘Why did this happen?’ It is unpredictable. You will discover a new nature and think, ‘How do we work through this? How to communicate better? How to handle?’ That is what I think I look for in a partner: the ability to challenge each other in such a way that there is growth.”

So, how healthy is it to view disagreements or challenges in a relationship as opportunities for growth, rather than as signs of incompatibility?

Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “Viewing disagreements as moments for growth is considered psychologically adaptive. In relational psychology, conflict is not inherently a marker of incompatibility but a space for differentiation and secure functioning. Couples who approach disagreements with curiosity and emotional regulation are more likely to build resilience, deepen intimacy and develop stronger communication pathways.” 

However, she stresses that this holds only when both individuals feel psychologically safe and can repair after rupture. Conflict becomes unhealthy when it repeatedly threatens one’s sense of self, security or belonging without resolution.

 

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Should people still set certain non-negotiables in relationships, or is a discovery-based approach better?

Not adhering to a rigid checklist can foster openness, authentic connection, and reduce cognitive bias in partner selection. However, Gurnani states that attachment theory and boundary-setting principles suggest that people do benefit from knowing their non-negotiables, particularly in terms of values, emotional safety, respect, lifestyle goals, and relational ethics. 

“Discovery is meaningful when it coexists with self-awareness. The issue arises not from being flexible but from a lack of clarity on what one cannot compromise on. A psychologically healthy stance is having implicit boundaries while remaining open to individuality and growth, rather than approaching relationships with consumerist expectations,” mentions Gurnani. 

Healthy growth vs toxic conflict

Gurnani explains that partners can facilitate growth when they confront each other from a place of empathy, accountability and emotional attunement. “The line into toxicity is crossed when conflict becomes chronically dysregulating, involves contempt, invalidation, power imbalance or erodes self-esteem.”

Healthy growth involves co-regulation, perspective-taking and repair. Toxic conflict is marked by repeated ruptures without resolution, emotional volatility and loss of psychological safety. The balance lies in whether both individuals feel seen and supported while evolving, not diminished in the process, concludes Gurnani.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.