‘I hope you have spectacular failures’: Inside Hrithik Roshan’s parenting note to his sons and the psychology behind it

In the note, he urged his sons not to chase success alone but to be open to the entire range of life’s experiences. “Now by all means go build, explore everything — success (you decide the definition), aim for success at everything, even at the art of doing nothing. And failure… in fact, I hope you have spectacular failures, strange ones even. And feel it all, feel it fully, every human emotion, let it wash all over you – grab some popcorn and watch it with wonder, see what it feels like in your body – the pain, joy, loss, connection, loneliness, energy, hopelessness, intimacy — At the bottom of each one – is a quiet wow. Get to it,” he added.

He further reflected on the larger meaning of life and growth, writing, “Because that’s the only real pursuit. The human experience. Not meaning. Not winning. Not arriving. But experiencing. (That’s the ride you signed up for). (Not remembering was part of the rules). (You lose nothing by having fun). (Self-growth just unlocks better levels.) (This is me half talking to myself). And just in case I ever forget and start measuring you —come remind me. Love came first. Always, concluded his note.”

But, from a psychological perspective, how important is it for children to encounter failure and difficult emotions while growing up?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “Encountering setbacks during childhood allows children to build emotional tolerance, problem-solving skills, and a realistic understanding of effort and outcome. When children face disappointment—whether in academics, friendships, or activities—they learn that difficult emotions such as frustration, sadness, or embarrassment are temporary and manageable.”

 

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A child who has never heard “no” or experienced rejection may find it harder to come to terms with such situations later in life, when they inevitably arise in professional or personal spaces. “Early experiences of manageable failure help children develop coping strategies, emotional regulation, and perseverance,” states Khangarot. 

Potential downsides of overprotecting children from failure

Parents often want to protect their children from disappointment, Khangarot agrees, but consistently shielding them from setbacks “can have unintended consequences.” She adds that when children are not allowed to face challenges or failure, they may miss opportunities to develop resilience, problem-solving skills, and emotional regulation. Over time, this can lead to low frustration tolerance, fear of making mistakes, or excessive dependence on external reassurance. 

“A healthier approach is to create a supportive environment where children are encouraged to try, make mistakes, and learn from them. Parents can acknowledge their child’s feelings while also helping them reflect on what they can do differently next time. Rather than removing every obstacle, guiding children through manageable challenges helps them build confidence and adaptability. The goal is not to expose children to overwhelming failure, but to allow age-appropriate experiences that teach persistence, accountability, and the understanding that setbacks are a natural part of growth,” concludes Khangarot.