By Dr Paras
When we say actions speak louder than words, it emphasises that our conscious and unconscious movements and postures clearly reflect our real attitude. If you want to associate numbers between body language and verbal communication, 55 per cent of communication is body language, 38 per cent is the tone of voice and 7 per cent are the actual words spoken. It can also be understood as a magic set of percentages, where 90 per cent is of communication is body language and 10 per cent is verbal. This means the whole world is a stage and you are being observed profoundly through a magnifying glass.
Most people, especially teenagers, fail to express themselves well. A majority of the teen population in our country genuinely faces a tough time initiating subtle body language and body confidence. Poor posture, fidgeting, eye contact, sluggish movements or probably slouching undermines their specific message. Usually, the problem arises due to low self-esteem that has an impact on their body. This means, whatever happens in the mind reflects in our thought process.
We are social beings living in a social environment, but are not trained to be socially eloquent. We simply adapt to the environment, such us flight or fight mode. Competition, bullying, favouritism, constant judgment majorly impact one’s thinking pattern and body confidence during the growing years.
According to NLP, the body and mind are one representational system. Thus, a feeling of inadequacy directly impacts the body and typically, such situations are reinforced from childhood. Helping teenagers to become “action competent” will enable the next generation to become connected and empathetic.
Here are few techniques to teach correct body language, gain confidence and overcome a distorted body image in your children. The Idea is to work more on the posture:
Step 1. Sit erect and stand erect. Sitting or standing up straight, chin up with your head properly balanced keeps you more aware, awake and mindful during conversation.
Step 2. Don’t slouch. Whenever you’re talking, look straight into the eye of the person. Don’t stare; look into the forehead area between the eyes or the nose area. Avoid looking anywhere else. This will make the person realise that you are honest and telling the truth.
Step 3. Shake hands very strongly and firmly but not like bone-crushing or a dead fish. Use the touch to imbibe an immense level of confidence between sender and receiver.
Step 4. Smile. Smile a lot as it is universally recognised as a good gesture which will make your conversation more promising and effective.
Step 5. Meditate to enhance body confidence. This helps aligning your physical body with consciousness and sitting up straight while meditating also helps you strengthen your physical body to the core.
Remember, if your child stammers, fumbles or stutters due to overwhelming nervousness while making a speech, encourage them to practice by recording themselves to correct and rework the speech. To eliminate a distorted body language and boost confidence, teens need to work more on their thinking pattern by not being too self-conscious. A positive thought will transform into a positive life if they start believing in their journey and embrace the innate power within them.
(The writer is a life-leadership coach and founder of Matrrix.)