Kids giving you a hard time with homework? Here are tips from a pro
Use threats judiciously and in an age-appropriate manner. Telling a three-year-old that he will lose a month of TV time if he doesn't focus on his homework may not be beneficial, when the child does not understand the concept of a month.
Keep reasonable expectations from your child. (Source: Dreamstime)
By Amita Bhardwaj
Homework time isn’t clearly the best time at the Rao household. Their six-year-old son, Krish, when called upon to do his homework takes time to spread out his paraphernalia and then almost always wants to take a loo break or is terribly hungry. An hour goes by with little or no progress on the work. This is typically the time when Ashrita, his mother finds herself at her wit’s end and the evening threatens to end with Ashrita raising her voice and Krish invariably in tears.
Odds are that there are many other households like those of the Raos where homework time is clearly one of the most stressful times of the day. As a pre-school educator, I firmly believe that the key to getting kids to do their homework independently, lies in helping kids have a healthy relationship with their studies early. Here are some things that you can do to help ensure that homework time isn’t the most dreaded time of the day.
Set your expectations right
First things first, ensure that your expectations are age appropriate. If you are a perfectionist and will not settle for anything less than a perfect drawing or the best handwriting, do stop to take stock of whether your expectations are reasonable. Expecting a first-grader to spend an undistracted hour studying, for example, is expecting too much of the child. Above everything it is important to remember that at the early stages, the goal of getting homework done is not to complete a chore but to ensure that the child develops healthy studying habits and that studies aren’t construed as a burden. Spending energy in making studies interesting therefore needs to be topmost on the agenda. Explaining concepts in a manner that are fun and help the concept stick, need to be a priority beyond just getting the designated work done.
Set aside a dedicated space and time for homework
A comfortable space that is conducive to working is one of the first prerequisites for getting quality work done. This need not necessarily mean a formal study table; the dining space where you are around to supervise work may just as well. However, trying to write slouched on the bed or a sofa is a strict no-no. What also sets the stage for some quality work is a designated time of the day set aside for homework. The routine will come in handy in mentally preparing the child to get to work each day. Of course, do choose a conducive time that ensures the child is well rested to be able to give his or her best. Also, having chosen a time, stick to it every day as far as possible. With enough and more distractions available to children, what you also need to ensure is that study time is distraction free. Make sure you aren’t on the phone or that there isn’t a blaring television set close by, forcing the child to struggle to concentrate.
Allow for some space
This may sound contrary to the earlier advice of being around for the child, but it really isn’t. You need to be around without necessarily overseeing every single move of the child. Not only will this relieve you of the pressure of helicopter parenting, it will also give the child a sense of ownership. Needless to mention, of course, that if the child needs you for anything, you need to be readily available. In fact, if the child is doing some reading, it may be a good idea to be doing some reading yourself at a little distance. With younger children, you also need to facilitate the work without giving in to the temptation of actually doing it yourself in the interest of time.
Praise, don’t reward
Using a chocolate or an ice-cream can sound like just the right reward to get the child to finish the assigned work. However, it is counter-productive to the idea of helping the child develop a love for learning. Instead, if the child has understood a concept well, be generous with your praise while leading him or her on to other applications of the concept. You will soon notice how the child starts to work independently and share his newfound learning with you.
Follow through on consequences
Ever so often we use threats to get children to complete their homework. “If this is not done, you lose your TV time” is a commonly heard threat. Ensure that you use these threats judiciously and in an age-appropriate manner. Telling a three-year-old that he will lose a week or month of TV time may not be beneficial, when the child does not as much as know the concept of a month. It will help you use threats cautiously if you keep in mind the need to follow through on them.
Above everything, being patient with the child will go a long way for him not to look at homework or studies as a whole as a burden that he needs to carry. With a little patience and creative thinking, you can make the child fall in love with learning. Now this is something that will stand him in good stead as he navigates through life.
(The writer is VP-Curriculum, Footprints Childcare.)
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