4 min readNew DelhiAug 31, 2023 11:46 AM IST
First published on: Aug 31, 2023 at 11:46 AM IST
All parents want the best for their children. For this, many parents go to extremes to make their child’s life easier — either by paying too much attention to them or by being overly supportive of their needs.
This brings us to an important question — how much attention is too much? Should you ever ignore your child? Or can you overly engage with your kid? The answers to these queries are hotly debated among parents.
While we know that supportive parenting approaches are essential for a child’s development, a particular parenting style called ‘helicopter parenting’ does more harm than good.
First used in Dr Haim Ginott’s 1969 book, ‘Between Parent and Teenager’, the term ‘helicopter parent‘ describes a parent who would hover over their child like a helicopter.
Similar to the terms ‘lawnmower parent’ or ‘bulldozer parent’, such parents not only hover but also mow down or bulldoze any obstacles in their child’s path. It is considered to be the opposite of free-range parenting where independence and thinking for oneself is encouraged.
What exactly is helicopter parenting?
According to Simrun Chopra, Deep Health Coach, Nutritionist and Founder of Nourish with Sim, a ‘helicopter parent‘ is heavily involved in every little aspect of their child’s life and they tend to take on too much responsibility for every success and failure their child endures.
She added: ‘It starts with good intentions of being involved in our children’s lives. While parents might believe this level of involvement is necessary for the well-being of their children, research shows that it has several negative aspects.”
‘Helicopter parents’ usually go to extreme lengths to protect their children from negative outcomes like not qualifying to the sports team, receiving bad grades, and shelter them away from real-world problems. This could mean completing school projects for your child, choosing friends for them, or refusing to let your child solve problems on their own.
Due to societal pressure around spending more time with children and being extremely involved, ‘helicopter parenting’ is becoming more popular. However, Chopra pointed out that it can cause a lower level of confidence or coping skills in children. Similarly, a study published in the journal Frontiers of Psychology revealed that it may have negative implications on the child’s mental health such as anxiety and depression.
What is a better style of parenting?
Helicopter parenting is considered to be the opposite of free-range parenting where independence and thinking for oneself is encouraged. (Source: Freepik)
There is no one good way of parenting, as per Chopra, but parents who help their children make independent choices and decisions from early childhood, allow their children to build a sense of confidence and make better decision on their own.
“The authoritative parenting technique is more collaborative in nature and is assumed to be one of the best,” she said, adding that it is focused on solving problems together, setting clear rules and expectations and having open and clear lines of communication.
Such a parenting style teaches children to rise from failures, encourages them to make decisions and deal with the outcomes, and let them pick extra-curricular activities and fail at them.
For children to make independent decisions in critical situations, Chopra recommends parents to give them the right tools that will help them build resilience and understand self-reliance.
“With the level of exposure and access to information children of today have, it is imperative to give them the tools to be on their own while knowing their parents are there to back them without judgement,” she said.
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While we know that supportive parenting approaches are essential for a child's development, a particular parenting style called 'helicopter parenting' does more harm than good. (Source: Freepik) 
Helicopter parenting is considered to be the opposite of free-range parenting where independence and thinking for oneself is encouraged. (Source: Freepik)
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