The Gran View: Don’t yell at the problem, focus on the solutionhttps://indianexpress.com/article/parenting/family/the-gran-view-dont-yell-at-the-problem-focus-on-the-solution-5418550/

The Gran View: Don’t yell at the problem, focus on the solution

Could love be the true essence of the relationship between parents and children? Could love be the highest form of vibration through which all creation is manifested?

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The love and happiness of your child depends on you. (Source: Getty Images)

All perceptions begin in the mind of the individual as a child. The world is just a reflection of that perception.

By Shayama Chona

Have you ever seen a two-year-old reprimanding his or her stuffed animals? One child in particular comes to my mind. The mother constantly told her two-year-old daughter what to do. The child was getting more and more stubborn and extremely oppositional to her mother’s angry commands.

The child was exerting her will and reflecting anger in her actions. When playing with her stuffed animals, she put her teddy bears on a shelf, pointed her finger at them and yelled, “Don’t move! Don’t you move!”

She did this over and over again. She was already modelling her mother’s actions and dealing with her own anxiety by playing it out. At any point of time, if children have built up emotions like anxiety or frustration, we can see it unfold in their play on a daily basis.

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All perceptions begin in the mind of the individual as a child. The world is just a reflection of that perception. If a person was abused as a child, the perception may be that, ‘I am a victim’. Then, as people live their adolescent and adult lives, they perceive many events as someone or something “always picking on me” or “happening to me”. They ask questions like, “why does this always happen to me?” or “what did I do to deserve this?”

Also Read: Raise yourself to become a high EQ parent

All the questions focus on the problem and the child receives the same message from parents, who too are focused on the problem instead of the solution.

The love and happiness of your child depends on you. The incredible news is that we can-and will-remove the negative screens that dim our lives. The new year brings hope for our children wrapped in the old message. “In the beginning was the word; the word was in God’s presence and the word was God”.

“Through Him all things came into being, apart from Him nothing came to be. The word became flesh and made His dwelling among us-filled with enduring love of His fullness we have all had a share-love following upon love.”

“Brahma is the original creator, born out of the energy of the Supreme Lord, and from Brahma all are manifest.”

Could love be the true essence of the relationship between parents and children? Could love be the highest form of vibration through which all creation is manifested? We know through physics that everything in the physical world vibrates. Every family vibrates this energy which is the final building block of its children. If our true essence is love, then we would all expect to operate better in a state of love.

Dear parents, your goal in life is to be happy. Think of why you work so hard? Only to give your children the best. To give them a home, car, and other materials things, play, sports, or entertainment and above all good education. But all your hard work and sincere efforts will be erased if you work in an angry state that upsets the children. They would start emitting negative vibes. But if we are in an emotional state based on love, then we and the kids will perceive the behaviour that supports that emotion.

(The writer is a Padma Bhushan and Padma Shri awardee, an educationist, social activist and former Principal, DPS RK Puram.)