Sania Mirza and Veena Malik’s Twitter spat has drawn attention among netizens. The Pakistani actor shamed the new mother for allegedly taking her child to a sheesha bar, although the latter denied it.
Veena,I hav not taken my kid to a sheesha place. Not that it’s any of your or the rest of the world’s business cause I think I care bout my son a lot more than anyone else does :) secondly I am not Pakistan cricket team’s dietician nor am I their mother or principal or teacher https://t.co/R4lXSm794B
— Sania Mirza (@MirzaSania) June 17, 2019
Having a baby does not mean you have to give up on your social life and shut yourself at home, even if you may have to make adjustments with the arrival of the baby. Like Sania, there are many mothers who have to take their child along to events or parties either because they do not have someone to babysit or simply because they do not want to stay away from the baby for that duration. That said, not every party is suitable for the baby. It could be too crowded or loud, for instance. Like everything else, your baby is likely to have an impact on your social life too.
“There were times when I did have a support system at home. But when your child is small and you go without him or her, there are so many people asking why the child has been left at home. Again, if you leave your baby back at home, you are constantly worried about him or her, which only adds to your stress,” said mom to a one-year-old, Aparna Vashisht. Express Parenting spoke to some mothers of toddlers to find out about the things they need to keep in mind before choosing to go to a party with their child.
1. Choose your gathering
Once you have your baby, you naturally tend to opt for events that are child-friendly. Find out if you would be more comfortable hanging out with friends or family members in the presence of the baby or if you will be able to wear the right outfit for feeding at the party. “You need to check with the host if they are comfortable with your baby coming to the event,” said Anagha Narsimhan, whose daughter will turn three in July.
An official party, on the other hand, may not exactly be feasible for taking the baby along. Tehseen Zaidi, mother to boys aged nine and three, said, “I would take my nanny along with me, who will look after my child while I attend the party but we would keeping checking on him.” She added, “I usually don’t take my child to visit a friend who does not have a kid at home. What happens is, those who don’t have kids may not be able to relate to what these little ones can do, like touching things in the house or playing with them, and may think they are ill-mannered. So, I would prefer taking my child to those parties where the friends know how a toddler behaves.”
2. A separate room for the baby
Needless to mention, the baby may not be comfortable among so many adults at the party. Your baby will need to sleep and feed or may start crying and can interrupt the event. “When it is a close friend or a relative I am visiting with my baby, I usually check with the host if a room would be available for feeding my daughter or there’s a place to change her diapers and put her to sleep. If it is a banquet hall, for instance, hosts are usually allotted a room,” said mom to a one-year-old, Aparna. That way, you can spend time with your friends and family while making frequent visits to the room to check on the baby.
3. Take turns
The child is not just one parent’s responsibility. This holds true especially in cases where both the mother and father are going to the event together. You can discuss with your partner on how to take turns to look after the baby at the party and what responsibilities to share. One of the parents could otherwise stay back at home with the baby while the other attends the party.
4. Check if the music will be too loud for the baby
Loud music is a major concern when you are taking your baby to an event, say may mothers. You should not take your baby to the event in that case, they believe. “I once took my daughter to a friend’s sangeet function. The moment we entered the venue, my daughter started crying because the music was very loud. Lot of parents may not consider this a problem but I think loud music is too harsh for the baby,” Aparna asserted. Anagha added, “When it is a Diwali party or a Eid party or New Year’s, I know that the music will be loud unless it is being held in the house with close family members only, of all age groups. I would either ask if children can be accommodated or not go to the party at all.”
What do you do when it’s a family occasion that you must attend? “If it is a compulsion, you have go but you should be able to leave if the child is feeling uncomfortable. However, people are much more accommodating in case of a family function and understand the needs of the child and the mother,” Anagha added.
5. Set a time limit
Now that you are carrying your baby to the party, your timings need to be adjusted with your baby’s schedule. “You can no longer be the last one to leave the gathering. When your baby is with you, you would want to be out for a shorter duration,” Aparna explained.
6. Pack essentials for the baby
Pack your child’s eatables, clothes and toys to keep them engaged so that you can enjoy a hassle-free party.
Despite challenges, the mothers agreed that they would prefer taking their child along with them when they are going out. Anagha said, “Personally, I actually look for opportunities where I can take my child out.” Aparna, on the other hand, believes it has made her child more social. “Taking the baby out more does make them more social and I have seen that develop in my daughter,” she said.