By Samira Gupta
“The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.” – Jodi Picoult
Working women tend to feel ‘Mommy Guilt‘ whenever something with the child goes wrong, all because you constantly carry the burden of your professional life in your mind. For instance, the moment you leave your beloved kid crying at the daycare centre or when you forget to keep an additional notebook in the school bag.
Mommy guilt encumbers you from focussing on your professional and personal life as well as trapping you in the darkness of disappointment and unfulfilled responsibilities. In such situations, you should always remember why you chose to accept the challenging responsibility of being a working mother.
Take a deep breath and read the tips below to overcome your mommy guilt:
Make your own rules
You may often end up feeling guilty when you can’t match up to the rules and responsibilities of other mothers. Let us take an example of a mom who is well-organised and is super successful. In this situation, you may want to follow her lead.
But, never forget that every individual has a unique lifestyle and challenges in their routines which do not allow us all to sail in the same boat. So, define your own rules in line with your capabilities and bring them out in the best way to make the working woman and mom inside you elated and contented.
Devote quality time to give your child that extra dose of affection while feeling proud and delighted about your professional achievements. Make your own rules.
Be your own critic
Being a working mother is indeed demanding. When you feel guilty about something that has gone wrong or missed out on, admit it and try to fix it or if it’s too late, just be more vigilant going forward.
Be your own critic and identify your mistakes rather than listening to others who may tend to pass judgment. Stay away from such negative people and find your way to resolve the situation with a broader perspective.
If you forgot to prepare what your child requested you for the lunch, you both may feel sad about it for a moment but that does not certify you as a bad mom. Think of a greater picture instead. Was that you last chance to cook for your kid? Will he remember this mistake for the lifetime and will hate you for it? Will this incident change his entire life drastically? Probably not. Rather you can surprise him with a more delicious dinner including all his favourite dishes and desserts to bring a big smile on his face. And it is all sorted; you are still a wonderful and loving mom.
Create a strong support system
Being a working mom, you manage a quadruple workload already and then taking care of every minute thing about family and home does not sound practically do-able. However, it is a priority too and creating a support system can help you fulfil all your responsibilities seamlessly.
Set up reminders and alarms in your mobile phones about upcoming events and schedules so you don’t miss out any. Distribute roles and responsibilities between your partner and you to manage things efficiently. It will not let your mommy guilt sneak up and will allow you to be more organised.
Spend quality time with the apple of your eye
There can be nothing better than providing happy moments to your child by spending some quality time regularly. Being with each other strengthens the bond of love you share and builds trust.
Indulge in playful activities with your kids and inculcate true virtues of life into their personalities which no one else can do. Listen to what they have to say and respond politely while penetrating etiquettes and morals to make them responsible and self-reliable.
There may be many occasions when you will feel the mommy guilt but remember these points to overcome those feelings!
(The writer is Chief Image Consultant and Executive Coach.)