A student’s days of stress are not over with exams. The bigger hurdle to overcome is the exam result day, especially when children are scared to face their parents knowing they might not be happy with their marks. Criticising the results or complaining about the performance can, however, have a negative impact on the child instead of motivating them to do better.
1. ‘How did your friend get more marks than you?’
This is an oft-heard comment from many Indian parents, who compare their child’s marks with that of their other classmates. Parents need to realise that constant comparison with peers may not do any good to the child. Instead, it can make your child lose confidence and question his or her self-worth, which is surely not desirable. It can also lead to jealousy.
2. ‘Is this why we are spending so much on your education?’
Education is the basic right of every child. The choice of the school does not usually depend on the child but the parents who aim to make their little one into the “perfect” kid who is never lagging behind. Try to focus on your child’s studies instead and help him or her to do better next time.
3. ‘You will never achieve anything in life with these marks’
It is really damaging to make such statements about your child or it can further bring down his or her morale and impact their performance further. Talk to your child, find out about the challenges he or she is facing and help overcome them.
4. ‘You are a failure’
In this mad rush to get the child to excel in every field, parents sometimes are unable to accept their child’s defeat or failure. In the process, children are also not taught to deal with failure. A 2013 study by Arizona State University researchers had found that children, who are put under too much pressure to succeed, are twice as likely to suffer from anxiety and depression as compared to their peers. Marks cannot be the only yardstick for success. Instead of criticising your child, acknowledge their efforts and empathise with them.
5. ‘No TV, internet from now on’
Your child should not be allowed too much screen-time, of course, but that does not mean you shun it completely. In fact the television or internet can be used as a source of relevant information and knowledge. You can read about new things or watch age-appropriate educative shows with your child.