By Kuhoo Gupta
Parenting is very subjective and a conundrum, especially today when there is advice pooling in from all directions and the parent-child connection may be zilch. Children are shushed down by being handing over phones or iPads, while parents are busy tapping away on their respective devices. This also leads to a know-it-all approach where parents tend to resort to Google for ‘facts’ that can raise a ‘proper’ child. It is indeed a grim scenario.
The good news is that this lost connection can be remedied. Parenting should involve a constant feedback mechanism where every experience propels parents to improve and vice-versa. The parent-child relationship is something that can teach a parent lot of things and they should be willing to forgo their egos and learn as much as they can when bringing up their child. It is very important to raise your own consciousness and awareness to become a good parent.
How does spirituality help in parenting?
The best thing about spirituality is that it is a universal concept. It offers a path for all domains of life and parenting is no different. Humans are spiritual beings and spiritualism is connected to reasons that are sometime beyond the scope of human understanding. There is a reason why a certain soul comes to the parents as their child.
Every soul chooses its parents, gender, location, etc, based on their life agenda. The soul of the child is here on earth to fulfill its life purpose. It just happens to be the biological child whom we end up considering our property. We put incessant regulations and box him/her up whereas they are meant to explore the meaning of their existence. What the child wants is unconditional love and acceptance of who he or she is.
For instance, education. The child’s education affects the parenting that is adopted in the household. In the race to win, the competitive spirit gnaws at the peaceful and light proposition of a simple childhood which turns parents into marathon runners who are hell-bent on pushing their child across the finish line. The best thing to do is to let the child explore and progress in the learning journey as per their interest, without parents forcing the school’s curriculum on them. Though this may not be plausible all the time, there are modifications for everything.
Every child has something that he may excel in. If a child, who is very interested in music, is forced into engineering, he will probably not be a successful engineer ever. A child should be allowed to follow his passion and interest. This is the mark of not only a good child but a good parent as well.
Spirituality is the soul while pragmatism is the mind. The parenting style needs to change taking into consideration the technological advancement, the way world is progressing and biological evolution. There is an imminent need of not only physical health but also emotional health, thanks to the omnipresence of internet and social media due to which mental health takes a severe beating.
It is important to realise that EQ is now more important than IQ. There is information overload and hence, the need for remembering facts is almost gone. This interjects with the natural ability of a body to learn. Moreover, the kinds of jobs we see now are totally different from what they were 50 years ago and the scenario is going to change drastically in the next 15 years. Therefore, conventional education is not enough to raise resilient kids and parents need to step in to improve the standards of education and life all together.
The imperative change
Parenting boils down to self-consciousness, awareness and the spirit. Being aware of the spiritual laws regarding conception, pregnancy, delivery and child rearing are very important so that parents do not unknowingly pass on something unwanted to the child that can have an impact for a lifetime. Negativity lays heavy on a child. In fact, an unborn fetus can also be subjected to negative energy.
The sad fact is that this negativity stems from being ‘unfit for love’ and continues to grow into adulthood which takes the ugly shape of insecurity, aversion to commitment and major trust issues. Although these soul imprints can be healed through various modalities, they could have been avoided in the first place if the parents had known the laws of spiritual parenting.
Spiritualism is complex but not unattainable. Spiritual parenting is more based on heart, mind and soul. Parents just need to delve into their instincts and work towards raising human beings instead of machines.
(The writer is founder of The K Junction, parenting coach and early childhood educator. Views are personal.)