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Round and edgy as hell

For some time,I have been getting angry at the drop of a hat and irritation has become my middle name.

I got pretty angry at a reporter a few days ago for filing her story late. And she was a friend I had known for 12 years. A day later,another reporter was at the receiving end for another such “grave offence”. The week before,I was venting out ire on my soft-spoken cook for not turning up the day before without informing me. And last week,I was fuming because someone in the office had changed leave plans at the last moment.

For some time,I have been getting angry at the drop of a hat and irritation has become my middle name. Be it finding my seat occupied on reaching office,seeing a little boy racing down a busy road on his small bicycle,or having to empty a bucket full of cold water in the bathroom because I need my water piping hot for a bath — anything out of place,in my opinion,and I switch on the ‘get irrational’ button.

Known for my no-problem-will-manage attitude,I surprise myself each time I exhibit such a loud side of me. And as if all this is not enough,at times I feel like crying,and actually do shed tears,for no apparent reason. My doctor,and every other ‘expert’,tried to make me understand that “pregnancy is not a disease” and I should not treat it like one. They would all chorus into my ears: “Take it easy and you will enjoy every moment of it.”

But how do you,if you reach office and find your workstation in a mess — with papers,shopping bags,food items,used paper cups and plates scattered all over — or you come home and have to wash utensils to heat food because your domestic help took an unscheduled leave earlier in the day and the microwave suddenly conked off.

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A friend of mine then came to my rescue,to some extent,by sending a book,which she had found useful when she was expecting. I got to know about what my doctor had not warned me against — mood swings and irritability,which are apparently part and parcel of early pregnancy. Though not every woman goes through this,I clearly belong to the other category. And with this irritability comes a nagging headache,making things clumsier and I feel the whole world is conspiring against me,often leading to another bout of weeping.

According to studies,this condition may stay till the seventh month,waning gradually from the fifth. This means the people around me will have to put up with my irrational behaviour for at least four more months.

As my first trimester ends,I agree pregnancy itself is not a disease,but cannot say the same thing for the conditions it brings along. Now that you know,I appeal to you to please forgive the mood swings of all pregnant women you come across.

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And now that I know,I may feel licenced to get angry,but it’s a request to everybody to kindly bear with me.To all of you I shouted at in the past,and will be doing so in the future,I tender my apologies.

First published on: 28-02-2011 at 15:26 IST
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