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A new beginning

It was four years after we were married,and I was about to turn 30,when we thought it was time for a baby.

Oh,finally!”

These were my exact words as I saw the two very prominent pink lines on the white strip that was to change my life forever. Was I desperate? Not sure,but when you are married for six years and have already lived more than three decades of your life,those around you — not necessarily your immediate family — do get so,even if you are not. A colleague had once asked my husband in front of the entire department: “Aren’t you guys planning?” Believe me,this can be embarrassing,especially if your wife works in the same office.

gAre you seeing a doctor?” “Has your husband got his tests done?” “How long do you plan to wait?” “Why don’t you go for an IVF?” “Have you thought of changing your doctor?” “Try this home remedy…” “You must go to this temple once.”

The questions never stopped and there was a steady flow of advice from all sorts of wellwishers — related,unrelated,colleagues,friends,their friends and at times total strangers.

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It was four years after we were married,and I was about to turn 30,when we thought it was time. The realisation dawned soon,however,that starting a family wasn’t like cooking instant noodles.

Two years on,I was still nowhere near conception. Medication did not help,and neither did the trips we undertook to de-stress ourselves.

People initially blamed it on my “unhealthy lifestyle” due to my job. As a journalist working on the editorial desk since 2000,my day starts when it’s almost noon and I go off to sleep with the sound of an alarm clock going off at a neighbour’s house. My body was carrying diseases like PCOD,thyroid and stress,besides a few others,preventing me from “carrying” anything else. The bottomline was trying to conceive naturally was a waste of time. My doctor referred me to an infertility specialist.

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But failing to accept my “failure”,I decided against the suggestion and went to another recommended gynaecologist,instead.

Four months later,in the last few days of the last decade,after another series of tests and medication,I finally got a new life to look up to,and nurture,in the new year.

If any of you reading this article find yourself in the situation I was in till a couple of months ago,my advice will be to take it easy.

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Just enjoy life,without thinking about the outcome — all pun intended. I know it is easier said than done,but believe me it works.

It indeed did in my case. My doctor had given me this “one last chance” to conceive naturally,announcing to start a three-cycle IUI (intrauterine insemination) a month later,followed by an IVF (in-vitro fertilisation),if need be. While walking out of the hospital that day,my husband told me: “Let’s give it a break now.” I nodded in agreement,and immediately felt so light,heading straight to a posh South Delhi mall to spend the rest of the day watching a movie and having dinner at a high-end restaurant. That was the last week of November 2010 and I had thereafter the most carefree and anxiety-free time in the last couple of years.

The morning after Christmas,I had the pregnancy test kit in my hand and was telling myself: “Oh,finally!”

First published on: 14-02-2011 at 12:18 IST
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