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Wednesday, January 27, 2021

The cow test

How much do you really know and love the desi cow? A multiple choice sample paper

By: Editorial | Updated: January 7, 2021 8:34:33 am
cow science Test, national cow exam, national exam on cow, cow education india, Department of Animal Husbandry, indian education, education newsA government of bovine worshippers leads its citizens towards prosperity. a) True; b) False c) Moo.

Welcome to the first Kamdhenu Gau-Vigyan Prachar-Prasar Pareeksha conducted by the Department of Animal Husbandry and Dairying, Government of India. This is a historic moment. And so, without further ado, let’s proceed to the test. Remember, there are no wrong answers — only anti-national ones.

1. How can you tell the difference between the foreign-import Jersey and the Indian desi cow? a) The desi cow is calm, loving and hygienic, and stands up whenever the national anthem is played; b) The Jersey cow is lazy and unclean. It has high fat content in milk because of decades of appeasement by past governments. Udderly unmoved by strains of national anthem; c) All of the above.

2. Who played the role of Mother India in the 1957 film directed by Mehboob Khan?
a) Ms Jersey from Channel Islands, Britain; b) Nargis; c) Gaumata from Gorakhpur.

3. Why is my glass of cow milk yellow in colour? a) Sign of adulteration; b) That’s turmeric latte for the Khan Market gang; c) Rejoice, those are traces of gold. With help from ancient Vedic shastras, nationalist scientists are close to cracking a method to extract the metal from milk, thereby turning India into a $ 5 trillion economy.

4. What is the most effective argument against cow slaughter? a) It causes devastating earthquakes; b) There is none if you are in Kerala, Goa or the Northeast; c) Bisara, Dadri

5. How can you show love to a cow? a) Feed it grass and grain; b) Let it out on the streets when it is too old. It can feed on plastic and garbage; c) Spread communal violence in its name.

6. A government of bovine worshippers leads its citizens towards prosperity. a) True; b) False c) Moo.

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