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Saturday, February 29, 2020

The eternal mysteries

The heat and dust of the ongoing electoral battle has made everything more obscure and complex.

Written by Dilip Bobb | Updated: March 16, 2014 9:45:59 am

Life is pretty complicated these days and the heat and dust of the ongoing electoral battle has made everything more obscure and complex. Despite medical and technological advances, and decades of progress, there are still many things that are still quite confusing. Here is a list that leaves most of us quite lost.

Anna Hazare and Mamata Banerjee: After all that bowing and scraping and setting up a mutual admiration society, the relationship between mentor and ‘mentress’ has left everyone quite blank. Almost as blank as the empty seats at Mamata’s rally in Delhi where Anna registered a no show — this after the two had put on quite a show before the TV cameras. Anna has become an enigma, while Mamata has been an enigma wrapped in a sari, so it should not have come as such a surprise, except that neither has offered any clue as to what happened, when or why. What we do know is that the relationship has undergone a poribortan.

Tainted candidates: Every party has sworn to deny tickets to candidates who are tainted, which makes one wonder whether leaders of political parties have a different definition of the word than the dictionary does, considering the number of candidates with dubious credentials and antecedents. The bottom line seems to be that electoral victory must be ensured, by hook or by crook. Preferably the latter.

Para-banking:  A term that has caused much confusion. It clearly cannot involve mutual funds since the Sahara case has proved that funds were not mutual, but one-sided — meaning no refund. It’s a form of banking with hidden paras, and not the paradise that Sahara Sri Subrata Roy has painted in court. Instead, he got painted instead. This left his face as blackened as his tainted reputation, but he cheerfully wants to be even more painted, requesting the court to let him go home for Holi. The gulal of the man!

Television debates: The nation wants answers but we get very few of them on our news channel debates, mainly because the talking heads get very little time to talk and the party spokesmen believe in yelling rather than ‘spoking’. Then there are the anchors who weigh in with their views with the aim of provoking the speakers to become loudspeakers, leaving very little room, or time, for clarity or logical conclusions. It doesn’t help that the same talking heads seem to mysteriously appear on multiple TV channels simultaneously, creating even more confusion.

Arvind Kejriwal: He’s become like the Scarlet Pimpernel, you see him here, you see him there, you see him everywhere. Chaos and confusion follow. The confusion also has to do with his political leanings; he leans one way one day, then the other way the next — as in his left-leaning economic philosophy and his suggestion to a TV interviewer to play up his pro-business side. There are also his views on power (not the power suppliers or bills), but whether he wants it or not, would like to keep it or not. And now that he is taking it to the next level, whether he wants to be PM or not. It’s a tough ask and he’s not providing any answers either. While he ponders whether to stand or not, we are still waiting for the real Arvind Kejriwal to stand up.

The Indian cricket team: It seems a case of getting the runs, or failing to, in recent matches, where talent has not been matched with performance. Whatever the reason, the slump in form remains as mysterious as a Saeed Ajmal doosra.

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