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Retirement blues

Most people who retire struggle with retirement blues,or greys,since that is the predominant shade on their heads.

Written by Dilip Bobb |
November 17, 2013 11:57:49 pm

Most people who retire struggle with retirement blues,or greys,since that is the predominant shade on their heads. It’s a lot more difficult when you retire at 40,as Sachin Tendulkar is doing,with an active and long life ahead of you and kitbags full of well-earned money (and not sweat equity). He will no longer be in India blues,but what are his options post retirement? Here are some suggestions that have been posted on various sites:

Union sports minister: One newspaper,which,like Tendulkar,is celebrating a numerical milestone,devoted its lead editorial to the post-retirement issue,and suggested that he be made sports minister with cabinet rank to clean up the sports administration in India. Sachin at a cabinet meeting padding up to politicians who only know one sport,which is anything to do with rackets,is an unappetising prospect,as would be serving under an unpopular captain and part of a discredited team (UPA 2 for instance). The Times have not changed,and any official governmental position would be comparable to making Prince Charles a washroom attendant.

Prime minister: An even more ridiculous suggestion,even though Sachin has some things in common with the present incumbent — reticence,a none too distinct voice and a squeaky clean image. The last Test occasion has gotten everyone in a frenzy. With TV cameras asking people for suggestions,there have been free passes for insane ideas,this one being on the basis that we need a PM we can trust,one who will play with a straight bat and lead the country to many victories. It’s deserving of only one response — the raised finger.

Official mentor: This comes from Steve Waugh,who suggested that Sachin be named national mentor and promote sports other than cricket. Somehow,one cannot quite picture Sachin debating the finer points of kabaddi or kho-kho,or analysing slow motion replays of a gulli danda match. He could,and possibly should,mentor our politicians on how to earn money and fame without taking the public for a ride.

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Sachin’s store: Since this has been an occasion for a flood of memorabilia,from coins to stamps,masks,books,posters,caps,coffee mugs,autographed bats,games,cellphone covers,DVDs and even chewing gum,there’s no limit to what he can do with a Sachin store,except maybe take a few tips from NaMo’s retail wing. The big sellers will obviously be cricket equipment,including protective gear packed in the box that he famously adjusted after each delivery. SRT is already a brand in this last Test and he has every right to take a cut,having shown us so many during his career,none more exquisite than the uppercut off Shoaib Akhtar. Of course,the most coveted item will be miniature figures simply named Batman.

Ribbon cutting: It may take up many months,possibly years,of his post-retirement period,since we are sure to see any number of projects being named after him,to the road he lives on,flyovers,the metro station closest to his residence,apartment complexes with 200 flats. Then there are malls,airports,and,in honour of his stature,someone is sure to ask him to unveil India’s biggest statue to rival the ones that Narendra Modi and Nitish Kumar are competing for. Sachin mania defies all logic,and so do the fans looking to use his name to add theirs to the record books.

Psychological counsellor: He will be required to offer comfort to journalists,headline writers,fans and talking heads who will be suffering from PTS — Post-Tendulkar Syndrome.

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