Opinion Aanchal Mamidawar’s family killed her boyfriend. Indian laws must ensure couples are protected
Her conviction in disowning her family, and her vow to now reside with Saksham’s family, puts to shame anyone submitting to regressive social practices and family pressures
Aanchal’s conviction in disowning her family and her vow to now reside with Saksham’s family puts to shame anyone submitting to regressive social practices and family pressures. (This image is generated using AI.) “The culprits should be punished…hanged,” said 21-year-old Aanchal Mamidwar after her father and brothers allegedly killed her boyfriend Saksham Tete in Maharashtra’s Nanded. From a Scheduled Caste community, 20-year-old Saksham’s only fault was that he dared to love outside his caste in a country where love is demonised.
I am just two years older than her. I can’t even begin to imagine Aanchal’s pain. Even as she was going through her greatest tragedy, she faced TV channel cameras multiple times and painstakingly described details that implicated her family in the caste-motivated murder. Calling this her bravery would be an insult; no one should have to be brave like this.
Love is demonised not just through caste- and religion-based honour killings. Much of Indian society actively hates and sabotages love. Parents teach their children to avoid it like the plague. When these children become teenagers, and the parents find that their attempts have inevitably failed, unthinkable torture is inflicted on the kids. A friend of mine was beaten by her father for dating a boy who was “not from the 96 Kuli Maratha”. This is in Pune, one of the country’s biggest metropolises. All of us know of similar stories.
The aversion to love comes not just from notions of caste but also patriarchy: Women can’t possibly know what’s good for them and who they should love. Nothing could be worse than them being “defiled” by a man from another caste or religion. So, they must be controlled in many ways. A daughter’s educational opportunities must be sacrificed because if she goes to college in another city, her parents would have no control over the men she interacts with. She must not go on “night outs” with her friends because who knows who she might meet — it goes on and on.
Now, the introduction of anti “love-jihad” laws in multiple states has given a legal dimension to this social unacceptability. Uttar Pradesh’s Prohibition of Unlawful Conversion of Religion Act, 2021, has already caused suffering for many interfaith couples. This paper has reported how the Allahabad High Court dismissed pleas for police protection from at least 12 such couples in live-in relationships from August 2023 to April 2024. Eight of these orders said that the Act prevents such relationships.
In three other cases, the court did provide police protection. But in what should be considered a gross aberration in any society that values liberty, two of these orders required that the couples register their marriage. That young interfaith couples are denied protection by a constitutional court when their life is in obvious danger shows just how difficult it is to love in this country.
Aanchal’s conviction in disowning her family and her vow to now reside with Saksham’s family puts to shame anyone submitting to regressive social practices and family pressures. Her ordeal reminded me of a years-old video of a young woman using herself as a human shield and bearing blows from her family members trying to hit her boyfriend, while both of them are tied to a tree. If society forces couples into misery, at least our laws must ensure that they get to live a life of dignity.
The writer is a Correspondent with The Indian Express in Pune. soham.shah@expressindia.com
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