Unhappy? Self-critical? Maybe you’re a perfectionist

Just about any sports movie, airport paperback or motivational tape delivers...

Just about any sports movie, airport paperback or motivational tape delivers a few boilerplate rules for success. Believe in yourself. Don’t take no for an answer. Never quit. Don’t accept second best. Above all, be true to yourself.

It is hard to argue with those maxims. Yet several recent studies stand as a warning against taking the platitudes of achievement too seriously. The new research focuses on a familiar type, perfectionists, who panic or blow a fuse when things do not turn out just so. The findings not only confirm that such purists are often at risk for mental distress—as Freud, Alfred Adler and countless exasperated parents have long predicted—but also suggest that perfectionism is a valuable lens through which to understand a variety of seemingly unrelated mental difficulties, from depression to compulsive behaviour to addiction.

Some researchers divide perfectionists into three types, based on answers to standardised questionnaires: Self-oriented strivers who struggle to live up to their high standards and appear to be at risk of self-critical depression; outwardly focused zealots who expect perfection from others, often ruining relationships; and those desperate to live up to an ideal they’re convinced others expect of them, a risk factor for suicidal thinking and eating disorders.

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“It’s natural for people to want to be perfect in a few things, say in their job—being a good editor or surgeon depends on not making mistakes,” said Gordon L Flett, a psychology professor at York University and an author of many of the studies. “It’s when it generalises to other areas of life, home life, appearance, hobbies, that you begin to see real problems.”

Unlike people given psychiatric labels, however, perfectionists neither battle stigma nor consider themselves to be somehow dysfunctional. On the contrary, said Alice Provost, an employee assistance counselor at the University of California, Davis, who recently ran group therapy for staff members struggling with perfectionist impulses. “They’re very proud of it,” she said. “And the culture highly values and reinforces their attitudes.” At some level they know that it is possible to succeed after falling short (build on your mistakes: another boilerplate rule). The trouble is that falling short still reeks of mediocrity; for them, to say otherwise is to spin the result.

The burden of perfectionist expectations is all too familiar to anyone who has struggled to kick a bad habit. Break down just once—have one smoke, one single drink—and at best it is a “slip.” At worst it is a relapse, and more often it is a fall off the wagon: failure.