‘I was so upset and disappointed’: Suhana Khan reveals she cried alone in her room after school play rejection in the UK; why setbacks hurt so deeply

Recalling auditioning for a school play and being assigned to the chorus instead of the role she hoped for, she said, “I was so upset and disappointed. And I think that’s when I knew that I really wanted to play those parts and enjoy the thrill of being on stage.” She also shared that she cried alone in her room afterwards, surprised by how deeply the setback affected her. That moment, she explained, clarified that the desire to perform came from within, not expectation or legacy. Today, she says her work is driven by “Curiosity, purpose, but most of all, passion. It’s all of it.”

While her journey later included formal training at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts and professional opportunities, this early emotional turning point highlights a universal experience: how rejection can quietly shape identity, resilience, and long-term goals for anyone, regardless of background.

 

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Why do moments of rejection sometimes trigger such intense emotional reactions?

Gurleen Baruah, existential analyst at That Culture Thing , tells indianexpress.com, “Rejection hurts so much because we often can’t separate the task/performance/role from who we are. It doesn’t feel like ‘I didn’t get selected’; it feels like ‘I wasn’t enough.’” 

She continues, “That’s why the emotions feel intense. Also, it’s not black and white. Sometimes that pain also tells us what actually matters to us. If it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t hurt this much. Strong reactions are often clues to our values, dreams, or sense of belonging.”

Goals driven by external pressure vs those rooted in genuine passion

According to Baruah, early disappointments slow us down and make us think. When something doesn’t work out, we ask ourselves why it hurt so much. Was it because we truly loved doing it, or because we wanted praise, approval, or to prove something? Over time, setbacks teach us that not every goal is really ours. 

“Some dreams come from family, society, or comparison. If you still want to try again even after failing, it usually means the interest is authentic. But if the motivation disappears once the reward or validation is gone, it may have been pressure. These moments quietly help people understand what they genuinely care about,” says the expert. 

Healthy ways people can process rejection so it builds resilience and clarity

Baruah suggests, “First thing: feel the pain. We usually try to move away from it too fast. Let yourself feel hurt and accept that rejection sucks. That’s not weakness.”

She states that things like deep breathing, journaling, or talking it out with friends help bring it to the surface. “Slowly, with distance, you become more grounded. In hindsight, lessons show up naturally. That’s what real resilience looks like – not avoiding pain but moving through it.”