‘Badtameezi hui hai’: After Mouni Roy recounts a disturbing experience in her early career, a psychologist explains the guilt, shock and trauma that follow

Without naming or describing the individual involved, Mouni continued, “The man literally held my face and showed me mouth-to-mouth respiration. Uss 1 split second main mujhe samajh hi nahi aaya mere saath kya hua (I didn’t understand what happened with me in that split second). I started shaking, and I ran down. It really scarred me for a really long time.”

What happens when one experiences a sudden physical boundary violation?

Sakshi Mandhyan, psychologist and founder of Mandhyan Care, tells indianexpress.com, “When a person experiences a sudden boundary violation, the body reacts before the mind can interpret what’s happening. The brain’s amygdala detects danger and then activates a survival response. If the mind senses there’s no safe way to escape or fight, it often shifts into a freeze response, which is a state in which the body becomes momentarily immobile to protect itself.”

She continues, “I’ve heard many survivors say they felt numb, detached, or unable to react. That’s not a lack of strength; it’s a neurobiological reflex. Once the immediate shock fades, it’s important to start grounding the body — slow breathing, noticing the physical surroundings, or simply feeling your feet on the floor.”

 

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Releasing guilt from such experiences 

Mandhyan notes that this is something she sees in therapy quite often. “People replaying the event and blaming themselves for not reacting differently. The truth is, during trauma, the prefrontal cortex, which helps us think and plan, goes offline, while the body’s survival circuits take over. The reaction that happens in that moment is instinctive, not chosen,” she notes. 

Mandhyan explains that understanding this can be the first step in releasing guilt. When awareness returns later, what we call delayed integration, it often brings feelings of shame or confusion. Healing starts by recognising that the body did what it needed to do to survive. Through cognitive reframing and self-compassion, survivors can begin to change the narrative from ‘I should have done something’ to “I did what was possible at that time.’ 

“I also find that body-based practices like mindful breathing, yoga, or trauma-informed movement help reconnect the body and mind, which often separate during shock. Over time, that reconnection allows the experience to be remembered without reliving it,” says the expert. 

Setting boundaries in industries or workplaces where power imbalances make it difficult to speak up

“The first step is to learn to trust your inner signals,” says Mandhyan, adding that discomfort is often the body’s way of saying that a boundary has been crossed. Writing down what happened helps bring structure and clarity to confusion. Sharing with a mentor or perhaps a trusted peer before escalating formally can provide perspective. From a mental health standpoint, learning assertive communication is crucial.

“Organisations, on their part, must promote psychological safety, i.e. provide an environment where speaking up does not lead to isolation. Leaders who model empathy and accountability effectively establish a culture where boundaries are respected,” concludes Mandhyan.