‘You got this, kid’: Sushmita Sen reveals the self-talk that keeps her grounded as she turns 50; how balanced inner dialogue supports emotional resilience

According to her, this inner dialogue became a learned skill, something she discovered during the Miss Universe contest, a transformative period of her life. “That ability I learned in those 31 days, because I realised I wanted Rakesh Sharma. I wanted to be the first Indian (to win), and here God had put me in a position where I could be the first Indian.” She mentioned how just moments before the winner was supposed to be announced, she knew that she was going to win.

So how does this kind of balanced self-talk help regulate emotions, especially for people navigating major life transitions?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “Balanced self-talk, like Sushmita Sen’s reminder to stay grounded in good moments and hopeful in difficult ones, is a core emotional-regulation skill. It helps people pause, assess situations realistically, and avoid being swept away by extremes. For those entering major life transitions, such as turning 40 or 50, this becomes especially important.”

She continues, “At 40, many experience midlife reevaluation, comparing where they are with where they thought they should be. Self-talk like ‘I can redefine success at my pace’ reduces anxiety and perfectionism. At 50, people may face empty-nest changes, health shifts, or identity renegotiation. Positive self-talk doesn’t deny reality; it provides balance.”

Compassionate self-talk vs. motivational self-talk

Compassionate self-talk like ‘You got this, kid’ works better than harsh criticism because the brain responds to supportive language with calmer nervous-system activity, better problem-solving, and higher motivation.

Khangarot states, “Psychologically, speaking kindly mirrors the tone we use with loved ones, activating safety rather than threat. It also soothes the inner child, reducing old fears of failure or rejection. Harsh self-talk triggers the body’s stress response, narrowing thinking and increasing anxiety. Training a kinder inner voice begins with noticing critical thoughts and intentionally replacing them with gentle, encouraging statements.”

How can ordinary people cultivate resilient self-talk in their daily lives?

Resilient self-talk doesn’t require a crisis; it can be built through small, consistent practices. As a psychologist, I often encourage people to start by observing their daily inner dialogue and gently correcting harsh thoughts.

“Using evidence-based tools like cognitive restructuring, journaling, and grounding statements helps train the brain to respond with balance rather than panic. Repeating supportive phrases during routine stress—traffic, workload, family tensions — creates neural pathways similar to what Sen developed in those 31 intense days. Over time, the mind learns to choose calm, realistic, encouraging language, strengthening resilience long before a major life event occurs,” concludes Khangarot.