‘For that moment…’: When Sunil Grover revealed why becoming ‘someone else’ feels safer; how psychology explains that relief

Grover went on to describe this process in deeply introspective terms. “Because I don’t know who I am. I don’t know even now. I just know I enjoy being someone else. I enjoy experiencing emotions through someone else. It’s very entertaining. And sorry if I’m sounding a bit heavy, but when I pull off a character authentically, it gives a sense of meditation. It gives a feeling of exercise, and you forget yourself. When you become somebody else, for that moment, you completely forget who you are and live another life. That gives genuine satisfaction.” 

Why ‘becoming somebody else,’ even temporarily, can feel safer

Dr Sakshi Mandhyan, psychologist and founder at Mandhyan Care, tells indianexpress.com, “I usually see that stepping into a role gives the nervous system a break from self-evaluation. When someone becomes a character or a version of themselves that feels defined and contained, there is less pressure to perform or defend who they are. In psychological terms, this creates emotional distance from personal vulnerability.”

When someone becomes a character or a version of themselves that feels defined and contained, there is less pressure to perform or defend who they are. (Source: Express photo by Jasbir Malhi)

For many people, Dr Mandhyan notes, the everyday self carries expectations and unresolved feelings. A role offers structure. It tells the brain what to do and how to behave. This clarity can feel calming. “I explain this to clients as a form of psychological shelter. This is not always avoidance. It can also be a way to explore parts of the self that feel hard to access directly.”

How deep absorption compares to mindfulness or flow states experienced by people in everyday activities 

“What he describes is very close to what psychology calls a flow state. I notice this in people when they are fully absorbed in something that matches their skills and attention. The sense of time softens. Self-criticism quiets. The brain shifts away from monitoring and toward engagement,” says Dr Mandhyan. 

In mindfulness, she adds that the focus is on observing the present moment, whereas in flow, the focus is on becoming part of the activity itself. Both reduce activity in brain regions linked to self-judgement and rumination.

The difference between healthy exploration and avoiding self-awareness or unresolved emotional discomfort  

Dr Mandhyan mentions, “I usually look at what happens when the role ends. If a person can return to themselves without feeling empty or unsettled, then the exploration is likely healthy. If they feel restless or lost, the role may be serving as emotional cover.” 

Healthy exploration tends to expand self-understanding. People become more curious about their feelings and needs. Avoidance tends to narrow awareness. Emotions get postponed rather than processed.