‘I find it ridiculous…’: Shweta Bachchan Nanda on why she doesn’t want to be called her children’s ‘best friend’; expert on maintaining a clear parental role

During another interview with Barkha Dutt, she reiterated this, stating, “I’m her mother.” When Navya was asked if she calls her mother her friend, she replied, “No, now that she’s told me again and again that she doesn’t want to be called my friend… I mean, I might have, and I get that look, so then I stopped.” Shweta then spoke about why she feels this way, adding, “I find it ridiculous, because I’m not her friend. She’s not going to tell me everything. But I am grateful for what they do share with me.”

So, what are the potential downsides of parents trying to be their child’s “best friend” instead of maintaining a clear parental role?

Gurleen Baruah, existential coach and psychotherapist, tells indianexpress.com, “It often comes down to how we define ‘friend.’ A parent can and should share warmth, trust, and even a friendship-like bond with their child. But it’s not the same as a peer-to-peer friendship. Children, especially before adolescence, need parents to guide, set boundaries, and sometimes say ‘no.’”

When the relationship starts to resemble an equal friendship, she adds that the children may lose that sense of security—they might feel they have to manage their parents’ feelings, or step into roles they’re not ready for. This is what we psychologists call parentification: when a child is put in a position to take on responsibilities or emotional burdens meant for an adult. In the long run, this can leave them feeling unsupported or confused about where the real safety net lies.

How can parents strike the right balance between being approachable and maintaining authority in their child’s life?

According to Baruah, the balance lies in being both a safety net and a guide. Children need to feel that their parents are approachable—that they can come to them without fear of judgment. 

“At the same time, parents must still hold firm when it comes to boundaries, routines, and values. This balance can be managed through open, age-appropriate communication: explaining the “why” behind rules, listening to the child’s perspective, and allowing some negotiation where possible. The goal is for the child to see the parent as someone who understands their world but still provides stability and direction,” notes Baruah. 

 

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Does the effectiveness of a parent’s role change depending on the child’s age and stage of development?

“Absolutely,” says Baruah, adding that during childhood and early adolescence, children benefit most when parents act as authority figures—consistent, reliable, and firm, but still caring. As teenagers mature, the dynamic gradually shifts: parents need to start engaging with them more as equals, giving them space to express independence while remaining a source of guidance. 

“In adulthood, many parent-child relationships naturally evolve into genuine friendships, where both people relate to each other with mutual respect and equality. This transition works best when authority in the early years was balanced with love and trust, creating the foundation for a healthy, lasting bond,” concludes the expert.