Shalini Passi on when a kid opened up to her about mental health: ‘Aunty, I am very depressed’

Why do kids tend to go to non-parental figures for emotional support?

Deepti Chandy, Therapist & COO, Anna Chandy & Associates, told indianexpress.com that it is very common for children to feel safer opening up to non-parental figures. Children are often intuitively aware that parents are deeply emotionally invested — they worry, react strongly, and sometimes bring their own fears or expectations into the conversation. This can make it harder for a child to speak freely, especially about feelings that may upset or disappoint their parents.

Children’s emotional struggles have traditionally been minimised by adults (Source: Freepik)

“Non-parental adults, whether therapists, teachers, counsellors, or trusted mentors, offer a degree of emotional neutrality. Much like therapy itself, the presence of a third person who is not personally involved in the child’s life can create a sense of safety and anonymity. This emotional distance allows children to express themselves more honestly, without fear of judgment, overreaction, or immediate consequences,” she explained.

The impact of dismissing kids’ mental health struggles

Further explaining why adults tend to dismiss kids’ mental health, Chandy said that even though awareness is slowly improving, children’s emotional struggles have traditionally been minimised by adults – often dismissed as attention-seeking, exaggerated, or simply a phase of growing up.

“When a child’s feelings are repeatedly trivialised, it sends a message that their inner experiences are not important or worthy of attention. Over time, this can erode trust and emotional safety in the relationship. When children do not feel taken seriously, they are less likely to open up again, and may begin to internalise their struggles or seek validation elsewhere,” she told indianexpress.com. While adults need to respond calmly and not overreact, listening attentively and acknowledging what a child is feeling is crucial.

When children share something emotional, they are offering trust. How adults respond in those moments shapes how safe the child feels communicating in the future. “When this connection is missing, children may increasingly rely on peers or other third parties to meet their emotional needs, rather than turning to their caregivers,” she said.

Lastly, Chandy reiterated that parents who consistently listen and validate emotions, even when they don’t entirely agree or understand, often find that this openness carries into adolescence and adulthood.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.